The course of true love never did run smooth.

im SICK ):
anyway, thanks to all my friends who is concen bout me.
but i rather let myself occupy with work them him
maybe sick till into a coma.
i wont even think bout him.. isnt that much better for me?
dint have a good sleep last night.
woke up countless of time.
head is so painful.
like many heavy metal thing knockng my head )):
keep waking up and go to msn.
saw nowell, yongsheng, abram blahhsssss talked to me.
replied and went to bed again,
but he's still online. cant do anything, tears falls.
my back aches. infact is WHOLE BODY luhs. ):
nvm, nobody's gonna care. just let me rot & fall into a coma.
& died. anyway, i've got a werido dream last night.
i dreamt of me going to hell. cause i've died.
then its so scary.. many those ahbei`s..
and im like line-ing up waiting for my turn.
as n they would ask me what i did blahs~~~
so many scary faces.. i was like crying so helplessly.
wanted to find my kuebei. but yet i cant see him..
got disturbed.. its damm scary, woke up by a call from dunno who.
it dint talk..just keep blowing the phone.
then i was awake and dint sleep for some time.
sat at my bed and think..
is it a sign of me leaving this world soon?
if it is.. i rather this dream come through.
so that i would recieve physical pain then emotional hurt.
told my mum just ago, she's shocked.
regretted telling her.. cause she's worrying now.
still having my fever now. whole body aching..
i wonder how am i going to work later luhs.
the dream.. if could be possible.. COME TRUE .
cause at least my love for him,
wont be a burden anymore..
and i could see him smile happier too..
isnt it a better way?
shall go and bathe now..
BYE

- i once promised that the love would last.
& the love is never gone. how about yours?
i doubt it would still be there.

today is the only day i did really smile abit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONGLING.
went to school lahs.. which i dint want to.
but think again. momday no school
tues - fri im going to ITE for beauty course.
): means till next week. i wont be able to see someone.
why the fuck? when im used not to look at u.
then it changed, when i wished to see you.
yet i cant again..
i asked christa. will i still miss him when im not in school.
ongling said i will 100% miss him when im at ITE.
went recess.. blahs. ~~~
shiqi went to print papers.
i went to, but dint notice something.
i walked away, shiqi shouted to me and ask me see. . .
okay. i've been standing throughout the whole reces luhs.
but i did sit alright. really dont feel like eating.
drink a packet of milo.
even if i buy food, i'l still throw it away.
assembly. SUCKS.
shiqi was like at there looking at her *blahs.
and so is ongling luhs. so fucking near.
and direction is so JUN lahs.
and shiqi keep .. errr eerrr, he look come here.
i was like what the fuck lahs.
yaya. you can see, I CANT. is there a need to do this.
ongling scolded her =X
before i went off i turn, cause it will be a last look.
till next week ...... hais.
no more looing at you.
then went to celebrate ongling's bday with her.
bought flour, cake, cream.. and we all was like....
WHITEY!! hahaha..
i got my class photo alr. yeahs!
ugly me! ):
just saw christa's comment for me.
and i was like think backk of that day.
what a hurtful one.
my voice changed alright.
the flour kana my mouth, nose, eyes!
whatthefuck lor. now im feverish.
shiqi also like moody because of her .....
but they say she like this because im emo .
what the. -.-
i was like talking to chris after assembly . at staircase.
& i saw him.
i turn and walk into toilet.
everybody was busy-ing omg omg.
i still dunno why i cant control my tears.
nowell and christa came in.
and okay. went to tiong. then celebrate.
oh ya! STUPID ONGLING,
she broke my last fingernail -.- )))))):
so SHORT now! )))):
BYE(:

- im so used to it.
& the environment just change.
but i know i'll miss you more.

shall continue today's bloggy.
went to work.. still so fucking emo.
so many things happen today at work.
i realise something.
for my shift.
i need at least 1 of them.
ahfang, andy, nel, ahmu or dennis.
cause they are the ones who will help me CLEAR RUBBISHBIN =X
today i did it myself.
i dont know why either..
the very first time.
i did all the work quietly.
then mike came to me and asked.
why are you doing it all alone.
blahs. and stupid dennis is andy-ing here and there luhs. -.-
louis messaged. argh.
FUCK. just so tired lahs.
but i still have to learnt spelling.
my friend just sent me a thing.
i shall post it tmr. cause im OFF !
not going for NCC anymore.
tmr NCC day.. but i will want to tell NCC.
i still LOVE NCC.
cant upload pics. shall do all this tmr ((:
needa go learn spelling. im aiming for full marks.
this time is quite special.
shall post tmr. im tired ):
BUT I MUST PASS!
JIAYOU SHIRLEY (:
BYE(:

- i've tried not to miss you.
i've tried not to look at you.
i've tried to forget you.
i've tried to stop loving you.
BUT, i've FAILED.

going to work soon.
dont think that the one will come
to my blog again..
but its alright. i've been so used to it..

- heard chris told me something.
i was so stunned.
my tears drop so immediately.
chris was stunned.
ongling and shiqi turned backk.
i conform with chris 3 times.
& my tears just falls.
chris was so stunned, cause she dosent know
that my tears will just falls like this.
when i turned, i saw his friend.
was trying to avoid everybody.
& i just go up to my class straight away.
& i was thinking.
do u still cared ?
but most probly. you wont.
its alright. & i'll be alright too.
i was thinking so muchh.
dint eat my club .
bread lahs. but dunno why after i heard what chris said
i have no mood to eat anything.
just threw it away..
alright. shall post later..
im going to work now.
BYE.

- do you know it tears me so much.

im home from WORK.
what a day today.
STUPID DENNIS. andy here and there.
he say wang li hong song. LOL.
kiss goodbye. whenever im near him.
he would just sing and ask bout andy -.-
i sang back. zui jing. ai, wo que bu neng gou gei ........
he laughed & i asked why. -.-
nowell shiqi and yenkee came.
they left. & shiqi went home and change and
come and meet me..
STUPID ANDY. want to put me in trash bag.! IDIOT.
trash bag huh!
nvmm, your new hair cut sucks! =X =X LOL
so werid luhs! HAHAHAHHA.
today though what i posted on top seems to be happy.
but i wasent really happy at all.
but still i have to smile and joke with them..
its alright. i shall post more about what happen tmr.
cause i need MY SLEEP now! . im KO-ing NOW.
BYE(:

- i laughed, i joked, i smiled,
but all along, its just a fake one.

我想我已开始有点疑惑好像被他说中些什么
难道已经没有别的选择
只能乖乖的束手就策
难过的是我们做了选择
是对是错谁也没把握
如果要我放手才能获得
为何在我心中有舍不得
看着你要走还装著笑容
掩饰的脆弱要撑多久
如果现在开口如何挽留
感情这条线注定只能这么远
不敢相信已经来到终点
想你爱他必定多一些
我们之间不可能再回到从前
我还傻傻画着幸福线
看着你走远还继续装笑脸
掩饰折磨我能撑多久
如果现在开口怎么挽留
感情这条线注定无法延长一点
你已不在而我何时才清醒
相信一切都是命
不曾放弃你我不会说什么
默默的承受像个男子汉
看着你要走[看着看着你要走
]还装着笑容[多么多么笑容]
掩饰的脆弱要撑多久[还要撑多久]
如果现在开口[现在开口]
如何挽留[如何挽留]
感情这条线注定只能这么远
看着你要走[woo～]
还装着笑容[we will carry on]
掩饰的脆弱要撑多久[knowing there were words i've never said baby]
如果现在开口[现在开口]
如何挽留[如何挽留]
感情这条线
注定只能这么远

[let the words remain unsaid]

a meaningful song, listening it.. its my bloggy song too.
have to go for work now.. BYE

- 2months, i still love u

home from school.
wasent feel good today,
today isnt a good day to me either.
stupid leg is hurt again.
PE time..
stupid mrAli says that
my height is 167 weight 67kg
WHATTHEFCUK.
then its like same with ongling..
getting more and more angry,
i went back to ali.. i wanted to retake lahs.
okay. its fine this time..
height was 162. 50kg.
awww. FAT. ): but decrease alr..
last time was 54kg. =X
went recess. and tears rushed out..
went toilet. again, i poured away my rice.
bought a milo and went class.
the feeling just sucks when i saw the date on board.
finally PD lesson. slept & cried.
phone rang, took out. . call from andy.
took my PE shirt to cover my phoone.
chatted for 5mins. and teacher walked to me .
i hid my phone. lucky he dint see.
went hawker instead of canteen.
& im home now. needa go work soon.
and andy is gonna take revenge.
cause i disturb his sleep ytd. =O
HAAHAHHAHHAHAHA . fucking moody.
BYE

- if you still remember this date.
at least i know you cared for a so lil bit. so LITTLE bit.
but, i doubt so. can u see my tears crowding around my eyes.
i was looking at you, i told myself i dont love u.
but each word i said, it aches my heart. & tears fall.

im so hyper now luhs.
i slept for whole day.
and when i woke up.. the feeling sucks.
i dont know what to do..
think backk some things.
& i realise that my life is so sucky.
for holiday, went out ..
shop till dark falls, home.
online, sleep. school days.
morning wake up. go school.
after school, went for lunch,
went hme to change.. go work.
11pm. go home sleep.
its only. school work sleep.
no more on phones, outz to play like the past.
my life changes so much.
stop telling me that its a growing up process.
why i cant see that much changes in others?
its like no life lahs.
school, home, work, sleep.
everyday without fail.
in the pass. school, play ( everywhere )
home ( on the phone ) msn, sleep.
when the time came.
its usually time for me to call you.
but now, i could just stare at the phone.
hoping that i could recieve phone calls from u.
even though i know its impossible.
had the intension to cut again.
i know its stupid. i know that.
but the feeling in me is like.
i rather want physical hurt then emotional.
but i would recieve both yea?
looking at my hand,
i saw the scar left behind.
but the blood or whatever is gone.
so is my life.
you are gone, memories stays.
i saw the date on my hand. the scar.
it aches my heart alot.
today recess, i brought a bowl of noodle.
yet i ate a mouth, and i threw everything away.
totally moodless to eat anything.
so, bought a milo backk to class.
argh, i think i should sleep.
or else, i will again cry myself to sleep for once more.
NIGHTS(:

- 回到朋友的关系，让你自由的来去，从此想念你只能放在心里。
i wanted to let u know how much i missed you.
but i could only keep in my heart. & shout for u in heart.
can u feel the sadness in me. can u somehow hear that im shouting for u dearly in heart?

. ah bei. last sat at temple.

stupid Andy. see his phone. he started first!

i slept in class today. took by shiqi.

flower.. using tissues..

cream, but it looks like shit.. LOL

im smiling.

eleanor and me(:

shall upload some pics.

cause its such a long time i last upload in bloggy.

no WORK today!
yeahs, im getting my nap soon(:

went to school, but rainin in the morning.

so i took out my jacket..

then was thinking whether should i bring.

cause i stil have to take home myself.

then its cold. so i brought it with me.

went recess with a heavy heart.

but left with sadness. full of saddness.

totally moodless- saw chua afew times.

& i realise i saw someone who is ...

i was shocked. wanted to ask what had happen.

yet i told myself.. i shouldnt be worry at all.

went class. was so down.

i dint talk for the whole mother tongue lesson.

teacher asked me why..

& my whole mind isnt with me.

why like this? what shit is it.. argh.

after school went for ncc meeting.

maybe i'll still go NCC.

haha. ongling helped me to take my jacket & shirt.

thanks ongling(:
went bookshop for school badge.

and samm asked me to turn.

saw someone. and my whole heart crack once again.

head to the lift to lvl 4. for nowell.

& saw people again.

& we nearly took the same lift. so NEARLY.

i was so LOST at that time.

went to level 1

cause nowell's thingy had end.

ongling walked down first. im at the last..

& jaya chris ongling samm shiqi .....

all was like. faster come down..faster..

i came down. i saw you.

& whole mind was soo blank.

i cant deny that i did turn backk.

for another glance..

ongling wavee. .i was like. OI
then i realise.. samm and jaya was not with us.

they are so far.. waiting for them at gate.

i wanted to look so much..

yet i told myself not to..

cause i shouldnt.. when they reached.

we walked out.. i dont know why i turn my head.

went tiong to eat..

cause hawker, there's memories which will kill me again.

so went tiong with well. cried in bus..

& i was like. tell & forcing myself some things.

blahsssss. ~~~~~~

shall end here.

BYE.

i need my sleep.

- i just cant stop the love.

just a glance at you. i wanted to shout out for u.

but i know i cant reach for u anymore.

looking away, but heart's screaming for u. it hurts alot.

im back from work..
& this time, i should be sleeping..
cause i told myself i've to sleep when i came home.
yet i came and do blogging.
timetable changed. awww.
i KO in class today..
teachers keep waking me up..
but my head still down.. HAHAHA =X
went to tiong to eat and went home..
dunno who's the one who switch off my plug. argh.
nvmm, went to work with well.
today was like.. WHAT THE HELL.
i doze off while im working =X
dennis kept asking me bout andy..
i was like.. duhh..
ask whats the impression of andy..
why i dont want to like andy..
the who day..he just kept asking..
and we sat down for 5mins.. he asked me bout andy -.-!
what a GOOD manager..
told him some things..
& thankyou to DENNIS & NOWELL
they told me..
- DO NOT GIVE UP THE WHOLE FOREST
JUST BECUASE OF A TREE -
and i was like.. DUHHH -.- "
wed, nowell off.. but i needa work..
andy's also working.. & dennis is again up t no good. =X
he told me better go on wed.. FUCK. =S
why is it me & andy..
not nowell !! arghh..
nowell then told me..
i know u impossible.. but andy isnt.
i asked why, she told me..
when andy is in kitchen..
they are some 'things' came out from kitchen
bout ME. & i was like. duhh..
nvmm, andy is my FRIEND. alright (:
tmr.. gonna be another hurtful day.
bye.

even though its just a SMALL glance.
yet it still hurts like hell.

home..
today, i KO in class.. lol.
teachers keep waking me up for no fuck.
ytd night.. in MRT after work.
i cried.. thinking of him.
afraid to face him..
tears rolled down.. huijie andy all was
asking nowell am i crying.. as i walked away..
argh. today i woke up at 5.30am..
i dont know why too..
the moment i open my eyes, tears arrived.
the feeling of lost came again..
im so afraid.. was at gate today..
so i did manage to control my tears..
but recess was like a hell to me..
the direction is sooooo GOOD.. that makes me cry again.
change seat with shiqi.. cause i thought
that the backk will be facing me..
afterall, dint.. went toilet.
& i dosent have to appittie to eat..
was so devastated.. but still i smiled. i laughed. i joked.
i've tried my very best to do so..
why is it so? head to tiong. instead of idle-ing around school.
cause im just avoiding some things..
this holiday made me thought that i've got over..
but it dint.. & nowell told them about our working things.
lol.. ah mu. thats what they called nowell.
and they called me andy. -.-"
me and andy is friends.
and that fishy nowell keep saying that
he've got the feelings..
nowell: yes, you may be impossble..
but he isnt impossible..
and i was like. duhh.. -.-!
after today, i finally know who i really love.
& im just still following my heart.
but its so diffcult.
the fear is still in me.. & i realise..
i've just been trying to adapt the days without him.
not to stop loving him or forget him.
thats why it hurts me when the very moment
i turned, its just like a gun bullet shot into my heart..
alright, shall go and bathe and go work.. BYE.

- its not that easy for me t overcome it alone.
but it seems that you'd face it well. & you're happier now.
so let it stay on this way. & i just need to see your smile.
though it hurts, but i will also happy t see you being happier.

today is just not the day for me.
i worked till 7pm. & go dua.
im doing kitchen today(:
cause of my leg.. dennis let me stay in kit.
so that i wont keep walking & hurt more.
andy came at 5pm. then he let me have the fries dep.
jiahui ( manager ) asked me t say thankyou to him
& serve him drinks.. hahaha
i said thanks dumb saddist.
he went to be server.. & after awhile he came in
& help me with my fries. afterall,
he've been doing all the work.
& i dint clock out today. =S
went dua.. go till woodlands temple.
i get to know more people...
but i know a guy age 18..
and his bro is studying at our school..
queensway NA . LOL he asked me not to say
cause his family dunno that he's invlove in this.
i was like LOL. shiqi begged me to go & accompany her.
as jinchi, ivan & shawn CHUI is going to find her..
after llloooooooonnnnnngggggggg thinking.
i went.. aloy. or whatever.. the 18 years old guy..
he sent me to QTS mrt.. said thanks to him..
& went to buy food.
was SUUUUUPPPPPPPPEEEEEERRRR hungry luhs.
i ate a burger at 1.. till 12 midnigt alr..
& the whole day, i've been so busy.
they order mac.. & was like.. LOL.
after awhile.. got emoo.
talked to shiqi.. & i came home..
i got more emo. why.
school's starting soon. my godness.
i still cant face ..................
what am i going to do.
my life is so FUCKED UP now.
syaz asked me to look on bright side.
& in my world now..
there's no light.. no even abit..
cause somebody took it away.
BYE.

- if just a photo could make me shed tears so easily.
what more a real you.? it isnt over yet.

please save me ))) :
today nowell left early home.
cause she's sickk..
bid goodbye to her.. & work.
my leg hurts alot today. & its so fucking busy today.
before i went to work. i turned.. kana alr. ):
today so many people luhs ):
have to rush here and there.
server for today was me nowell andy.
then nowell went hme. leftt me and andy be server.
then stupid andy stepped my leg. ):
it hurts lahs! STUPID. haha. he said SORRY JIEJIE.
clean up..blahs.
was cleaning with andy .. cause we are servers luhs
& andy told me a good newss.
shanshan & felica suspended.
anyway, they dintwork today.
but they came.. with 2 guys.
they asked me where's dennis.
i think they're gonna do something? my sense told me.
LOL.. huijie cooked egg.
three of us shared.
me andy huijie.
its nice(: tmr gonna go dua.
so i will work till 7pm (:
ohmygod. at last.. no closing =DD
shall go and bathe now. BYE (:

- i will prove to u that.
i no longer need u.

argh. its late now.
im at my living room.
i sat at sofa, i lie on sofa..
im thinking of many things.
someone, school, friendship ...
go to friendship first..

i just hope that i can get your 100% trust.
others can dont even trust..
but not you. i've told u the reason why.
& heart aches when i know that thing.
remember, you'll always be my bestie.
and you should know me well, i will tell you straight
i dont have to use this method.

schools` reopening soon.
my holiday mood isnt over.
cause of some spercific reason.
i tried hard to let myself get used of not having someone.
& it will hurt me if i were to see someone.
i know what feeling will i get.
cause ther's something call picture. photo.
what more a real face.
but i still have to use a smile to face everybody.
letting them to know that im alright.
especially to those who have high hopes of seeing
a past shirley. jayanthi, samm ....

i thought that i could have forgotten you. ( no names mentioned )
yet whenever i heard emo songs, you'll come to my mind.
why is it so? i thought this holiday could help me.
but it dosent seems to have any help at all.
i'd only realise your importance when you're gone.
maybe our distance in the past are just too near.
so i dont know that i actually needed you that much.
i broke down everynight.
listening to some songs makes me cry alot for you.
i thought i will not shed another tears for you anymore.
till last few `special day.. i then realise,
you still aint gone at all.
i know you dosent and will never will have the same
feeling that im having. its all my fault.
i dint know how to cherish you well.
so i dosent deserve your love as well.
i just hope that the next girl will do a better job then me.
& i believe she will.
my love for you aint fading at all.
not even abit. or maybe, it increased alot.
cause i did only realise that the love i invest
is more then what i thought.
i thought i wouldnt be sad at all if u leave.
maybe abit. or really sad.
but when the day u really left,
the sadness in me, the fear in me.
is so much more that i could imagine.
im sorry, i dint realise ur importance to me that early.
but i will use a smile to face u.
to show u that im alright.
and give my blessing to u with a smile.

--------------------------------------------

why is my life so fucked up.
it was such a wonderful one in the start.
2007. many things happen.
i want it to end soon.
am listening to a song. 1 and only 1.
i want to listen till i felt numb.
till tears wont shed when i listen.
lyrics will be below. read it. its meaningful.

夜里传来雨的声音轻轻拨动心的旋律
情不自禁想到你那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心就淋湿了我的眼
睛爱情需要一些呼吸偶尔保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系任你自由的来去
从此想念你只能放在我心里
你还爱我吗一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记著你
在这冷冷的夜里感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你想听听你的声音
敢情的路总让人好无助我会学著面对独处
给深爱的你祝福
你还爱我吗一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答
我会一直等你你还爱我吗
-sang by jolin, - ni hai ai wo ma
go imeem listen if you want to. its meaningful. really...

- i shouldnt be here in the first place.
should i ?

nowell, i dont mind if others suspect me.
but i hope you wont.
i just want you to believe me.. thats all.
i wont care if others dont.

- specially for nowell.

fucker, fuck urself alright.
im in no mood for everything
it hurts me when i know that my best friend
thinks that im the one who did that.
what the hell now?
i cried when i saw what she typed.
but she's also crying too.
but i wil prove myself that i dint.
and passer-by. come t me then
dont have t come to my taggy and do all this shit.
alright. _/_ im getting pissed of now.

- others can dont trust me.
but not my best friend.

now at nowell's house.
& i saw the IP.
its different from mine alright.
fuck.. going for movie soon.
going vivo. go find shanshan.
nolah, we suggest that we'll go talk to andy.
HAHA.. opps. maybe felica will kill us =X
hahah. was messagin with andy ytd night.
& i keep saying he and felica.
he asked me not to say if not he angry. o.0
hahahah. okay. sorry BOSS lol
when he call ' jiejie' damm funny luhs.
andy, have u break ur voice? LOL
opppppppsss. SORRYYYY lol.
alright shall post till here.
& stupid fucker . its a 3years friendship alright(:

- even if i force myself t stop thinking of u.
but i simply cant.

to whoever.
FUCKER, IF YOU ARE DAMM BLOODY
UNHAPPY WITH ME .. COME TO ME.
DONT HAVE TO USE THIS KIND OF METHOD.
ALRIGHT.
nowell found out that me & fucker had the same ip.
she came to me. im shocked.
what the fuck. do i have to use this method?
but im glad that i got her trust. thats all i need.
what the fuck is wrong now.
i dont know. my sec3 life is in such fucking mess.
why is it so.?
im feeling damm bloody fucked up now.
i slam the wall. & its REDISH.
nvmm, just to let myself cool down.
seat down and think.
who had i OFFENDED. come to me then.
TELL ME RIGHT INFRONT OF ME.
dont use this fucking method.
but i believe i dint offend anyone these few days.
cause im WORKING alright. _/_
i cried? went to ask well ..
does she believe me. glad that i got a answer that i could smile
its a 3years of friendship.
do i have to use such a method?
whoever is my friend should know me well.
well, if its me.. i would own up.
& if i really will to do this..
AM I THAT BLOODY HELL STUPID TO USE MY OWN IP AGAIN?
HEY, I KNOW GOT IP THIS THING ALRIGHT.
why should i jump into a cave
where i know i wont be able to come out anymore.
FUCK
I SWEAR,
DONT EVERY LET ME KNOW WHO ARE YOU.
I WILL REALLY GO AFTER YOU.
IM NOT TRYING TO SHOW OFF THAT IM SO CAPABLE OF ALL THESE.
BUT IM ALSO NOT A GOOD -TEMPERED PERSON
DONT OFFEND ME IF I DINT.
IF NOT, I WILL PLAY WITH U TILL THE END.
FUCK U . FUCKER. _/_
and u are really overboard this time.
you want say out ur name, we'll settle tgt.
if not, better fuck off before i know who u are.

- i believe our friendship stays strong.

lol. im tired.
anyway, nothing much to post.
today work as usual..
& stupid andy needa work today.
HAHA. customer seat? IMPOSSIBLE.
me lahs, i will be there tmr.
alright.. & u must serve me!
see who is the one who last laugh luhs. =D
my leg hurts lahs. fuck.
also not in a good mood today.
stupid manager. ( ken )
knn, dont scold me as and when u like.
LIKE FELICA? then say it out.
_/_ bastard. see u how old alr.
still want jio 14years old girl. omg.
u .. fuck off. & i've do abit of things at cashier! =D
today saw yanxun they all
and saw shawny&darwin. lol
i beg dennis ( manager ) to give me flyers.
LOL. and i saw andy there. stupid.
he dont have ren yuan luhs.
but he still faster then me.
by 1 piece only. HOHO. i snatch from him. lol
blah blah. nothing much alr. tmr i off! finally.
HOHOHOHO. shall go and bathe now(:
BYE(:

- no matter how i try,
you still stays.

hoho. today house need to pray,
so i shall go t work later.
anyway, i dont have the mood today.
or rather, i dont have a good mood everyday.
maybe, i shouldnt even touch my destop ytd night.
or shouldnt open up my picture files.
memories once again killed me ytd night.
why is it so.
i should have got up long ago.
nvmm, it takes time.
people says time heals.
but i think time kills.
have been dreaming of some werido stuffs.
yet i dunno whether i want it to come true anot.
this shall let the fate decide.
i just simply cant get my fucking mood right.
& im sorry if i've got mood swing.
this moment, i might be joking around with pple.
another min, i might be slamming things & attidue pple.
sorry, i realy cant stop my mind from
thinking of other things.
i hope i wont even think bout it alr.
but it seems that i cant control my thinking alr.
there's so much that i wan to say. yet its so diffcult.
or it shall not be post here.
everynight, i cant get myself into a good sleep.
always, i would think of some things & cry myself to sleep.
im tired of getting into my sleep this way.
i want to sleep peace-fully.
like the past. i would go to my bed. & zzzZzzz
wouldnt it be wonderful?

- she dont want all this sufferings anymore.
& she broke down once again because of this.

tmr im working from 5 to 11. ):
but stupid manager says go at 3 )):
ehhhh! today also lidat. nvmm, can earn more luhs.
HOHO. met up with mum & godma..
gave godma $30 as a belated mother's day present.
now, im broke ): i left $2. ))))))))))))))):
took bus 65 to vivo. work work work.
today i was at counter post.
as in take the food to server.
HAHA i gave manager, i order him!
LOL okays lahs. my stupid phone. i
charged ytd night. just now empty bat.
FUCK think my phone got prob alr.
stupid Andy! told me that the dusbin today not smelly
me: ehh, lidat now smelly ah?
andy: today want not smelly.
me: really meh?
andy: you smell lor?
me: * sniff abit *
andy: * laughing *
me: ehh smelly lahs! LAUGH WHAT
andy: stupid *laughing*
and i was like . argh.
me: nvmmm! today u also closing with me,
& i shall push all my work to u. ! * bluek *
went to give flyers all this.
saw yenkee & abram. HAHA.
then went for dinner blah blahs..
fianlly closing alr. clean clean..
* cleaning in process *
louis came! HOHO. got people pei me take MRT le!
manager they all say is my boyfriend -.-
nvmm. hahaha. Andy dunno say i stupid again. c
ause i ask tmr what day.. as the sechdue ( wrg spelling )
is damm messy. what the hell. i took his cap away,
& i say throw to rubbish bin. he chased out for his cap.
HAHA i squad down, and stupid me! HE TOOK MINE CAP.
& he took my bag lor! i took his !
cause my valuables are with me =D
no choice, he have to put down my bagg =DD
manager say we are tgt. STUPID. -.-
he wore my cap on his smelly head. -.-
duhh & he said he thought that is his cap.
eh uncle andy, urs with ME. hahah.
dont want play liao.
return him and go with louis to MRT (:
listen to songs, saw them.. haha. train till outram.
bid gdbye with louis cause different side.
thanks thanks.
cabbed home at tiong. and i only left $2 now :C
nvm, shall go and bathe now.
BYE(:

-no matter what, you still stays.
& always will. its not that easy to get you off my mind.
even though im alr been so occupy.

stupid boss.
ask me to go at 3 today ):
means i have to go out soon.
& its raining soon.
gosh! 3 to 11pm ):
who can fetch me home?
hahah..got maybe louis will come.
pei me take MRT only.
then i will walk or take bus go home.
i'll try not to take cab.
if not half of my salary will go to cab uncle's.
HOHO. bring jobell go eat soon.
& i will have to go work.. ):
nvmm, maybe i can be a cashier soon =D
i rather be cashier then server.
cause cashier just stand only.
server, stand walk clean. dusbin ):
awww. lucky today got people take mrt with me.
if not i will die. HOHO
Andy also do closing, ytdd i laughed at him
cause he needs to do closing.
today i think he will laugh at me.
but nvm, he is also doin closing! =p
so HOHO. we cant laugh at each other.
nvmm, i think i will push the work to him =X
HOHOHOHO. i dont want closing luhs! ))):
alright alright, i have to go now.
BYE (:

- i hope to see your smile everyday,
cause thats the last smiple thing that i could request for.

im back from work.
shanshan gonna get fired soon!
cause she gave boss the stupid attidue.
peak hour go do other things..
HOHO. cause im having headache.
she stepped on me.. nvmm.
attidue me. fuck you. nvmm!
i shall see you get fired. =D
you idiot. HOHO.
ohh ya, HAHA. there's a bunch of ppl wanting to take foto.
& they came to me and asked for help.
dennis manager & andy laughed at me ~
lol.. 2 digital camera. 1 big big camera.
for those like take wedding photo de cam.
they both at counter laughed at me.
i was like.. lol.. so paiseh . LOL
im tired tired tired.
tmr i gonna work from 5pm to 11pm):
nowell is morning shift ):
which means, i'll have to go home alone ):
who can pei me go home? 11pm.
arghh, cabb? expensive ):
i dont want cabb to much alr.
maybe ask my friend come fetch me?
LOL. im like so precious lahs. lol. nvm.
shall see tmr, if manager could change me to 10.
HOHO .. impossible. bought a present for uncle joe.
he came vivo with mum.
sumhow, felt werid in my heart. dont ask why. i also dunno.
and bought food for him and mum just now.
hahha. & i just got home. * tired tired *
i shall go and bathe now. (:
BYE(:

- yes, by doing at this.. you made me love you more.
but, i rather the love would stop.
i want a more normal way to love you.
but i think, you would rather wants it this way.

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪,
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语,
我不懂得如何更爱你,
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离,
- 原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你,
- 原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己.
i thought im alright already.
but i realise that i dint.
not even abit, im so afraid of loneliness
thats why i want to work.
to keep myself busy with all i can.
all just to stop thinking of you.
yet, you stays. everymin, you aint gone.
how could this be so strong,
where past 2 aint like this.
AK, yes. i did manage to get him off me.
but you, i tried so hard.
but you still stays. im waiting for it to fade.
but it dosent seems to.
it hurts me everyday. all the time.
but its alright, cause i know..
im doing this to exchange a smile from ur face.
its alright, i can face it alone. or rather,
i shall keep myself busy everyday...

- 电话亭仍留着你的话, 一句话掉一滴泪.
memories in my phone remains,
i have tired to delete, yet i cant press it.
though its just a button, but its hard to press.

im going to KO at 2am.
was feeling fucked up.
already was moody today.
before i went to work. heard some emo songs.
went there, shanshan,
fucking cheebye. sec2 only.
go in before me by 2weeks.
order me to do this and that.
& so what if you are there eariler then me?
we are being a server.
i do not have to serve for you!
& dont give me that stupid face when u dint speak clearly.
cause its ur fucking fault.
andy talked to me. cannot issit? _/_
i know he's the more handsome there.
so what.? like him then like la..
i dint want to make him mine..
rather you should say, i dint even bother bout him.
im not saying that im so WONDERFUL.
but i really dint talk to him first..
im busy with my serving & cleaning.
alright. if you want to talk to him. GO AHEAD.
give flyers also ask me do. you cheebye.
im dulan, i attidue you, you then be polite to me.
WHATTHEFUCK. so what im new.
fired? i can get another job.
cause i know there's also a place findind people.
so, dont act as if you are the mananger alright.
i slam plates, tages. and all the shit.
treat me well, & i'll do the same to you.
give me a fucking face, i'll double back. (:
lucky dusbin got wuming, ahfang & andy.
HOHO. so i dont have to touch the smelly dusbin.
mananger says that i've got many pattens.
as we talk in china tone. haha. FUN (:
ohh ya! today, i said the boss is new commer =X
cause i thought why he could order jiahui manager
to sweep the floor. and they told me is boss.
i was like.. opps. they keep laughing at me lor.!
but lucky boss dunno. hahah.
they laugh at me at least 1hour. ):
hhahah. nvm lahs. happy happy can alr.
see, they treat me well, & i did too(:
and stupid shanshan again, said my voice is act cute.
FUCKYOURMOTHER ALRIGHT.
you made me scold ur mum. which i dont does that usually.
i dont have to act my voice alright.
my voice had been like this. so, i dont give a damm.
im already having bad mood
& yet you still do all this shit.
so dont blame me if i slam things infront of you.
YEAH, you! RIGHT IN FRONT.
you think i really need this job? im so money-face?
its because i want to prove some pple wrong.
& i need some money for my mum's doctor fees.
if not, i dont even fucking need this JOB.
& i could also get money whenever i want.
because she's my mum, i want to help her pay too.
LISTEN UP, im not dying for a job.
still have to stand for at least 8 hours.
its also training myself to be stronger.
complain to the boss if you want. i dont give a damm
if you happen to read this. print out to be a prove
that i scolded you. but remember all the SHIT u done.
alright, if you want to say i act a cute voice.
so be it. i wont bother to xplain more.
cause talkin to u makes me feel stupid.
be rest assured, im gonna show u my ATTIDUE tmr.
YES U . shanshan! alright(:
so, tmr, dont ever give me the attidue again.
all else, i dunno what im going to slam alr.
maybe not slam, i shall be sacarstic to you.
so is felica too. but she's better then u by abit. ABIT
shall end here. i need my sleep. =D hahah.
tmr still working at 3 again. HOHO.
but ends at 9pm. who can fetch me home? =X
i dont want to walk home alone. its so freaking scary.
BYE(: * my hand hurts * ):

- i've tried all my best to smile.
hope that you'll be better without me.

IM GOING TO KO SOON.
i went to work.
& i set a target.. at least work for a month(:
was working as a server today.
walked here and there luhs.
my leg hurts. my toes hurts ):
wore their shirt, long pants. so fuckin eeekk.
& their shirt is all tight fit for girls.
so, aww. im so fat.
walked here and there to serve people.
clear tables, clear dusbin.
FUCK YOU MANAGER _ _
but lucky got ahmoon. he is a nice guy lahs!
HE HELP TO TO CLEAR THE DUSBIN.
as in take up the rubbish that are dropped outside.
cause its fucking smelly lahs.
louis they all came to find us. but i dint see them.
ahmoon is good! HOHO. so that my work will be lesser =X
i like this job though.
cause its like im playing internet games. HAHA
saw many qss people. have been trying to keep myself busy.
BUT STUPID USELESS BRAIN,
KEEP POPPING OUT SOME THINGS WHICH
THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE COME TO MY MIND.
went to give flyers. for our superdog..
i scolded 2 people for geen' - ing me.
nowell laughed. & say i should not be like this.
HAHA. okay lahs. quite true. im not BOSS
or a girl that is like the past..
benny messaged, guess what.
im so clever, asked louis for help.
AHHA. & now, everyday. is louis messaging him! HOHO
saw sir perry. hahah. out CLT.. he's with a friend.
& perry messaged nowell & ask for some stupid things
that nowell says that is related to me.
SEESEE, fishy nowell gonna do matchmake for me again.
met up with winnie.. hahah. with don also.
asked them to meet at level 3 ..
there got losta of stars.. & i made some wishes..
hope it does come true. memories just kills me in this way.
& i just fucking hate that fucking feeling.
i will prove people wrong from now.
this work, i will at least work for 1month! ALRIGHT.
not a day, a week. HOHO..
im going to bathe and KO soon.
tmr 3pm start work. ohh ya!
i dont want do clean up shift!
FUCKTHE BOSS. ask me sweep all this.
LOL. but its my job, i shouldnt mumble alr. ahah
but its first time i worked so hard,
argh. but i know i have a good life.
im being pampered by my friends & family. (:
so i shall also work hard to thank them.
LOL. sounds no link? HAHHAHA
BYE(: nights people.

- even though im i've been busy all day long,
but i just cant get you out of my mind.
i kept my brain being occupy, yet you still stays.

im gonna to start work at vivo tmr! (:
& u know what? i dont feel like working.!
dint went to work today.
as i did mention at previous post.
went marina to get my sunglass.
spent $100 today..which's suppose to buy clothes.
& i dint get any.. worst still.. i dont know how i spent it.
nvmm, went vivo.
met up with nowell & louis.
cabbed with shiqi & ongling to vivo.
went superdog to interview.
& they asked me to start work tmr.
at 1pm. if i could stay at this job for 1month.
i could earn $800+ per month. HOHO. =D
but hope i can stay for at least a month.
vivo de superdog. come find me alright! HAHA
mus wear hat, wear their uniform.
went to playground after that.
feeling sucks at that time.
it took me alot of courage to go vivo.
as because of some reasons lah.
so i dint went vivo after that incident till today..
& i will be working there tmr.. oh shit.
quite hate it.. cause i dont have the mood
of going to vivo.. walking the same route..
okay! the feeling really sucks alright.
went playground. i took away louis's $50.
went to the pool to run away from him.
he's so FUCKING strong lahs..
ongling all pull him also no use.. he's STRONG
hahaAHAHAHA.. went nowell's house.
so is ongling, & i cabbed home with ling.
today wasent a good day for me.
shall avoid the places with memories.
just sucks so much lahs. though it hurts.
but i'll pull through.. hope i will succeed soon alright.
my back hurts alot. so is my neck lahs.
argh. i seriously dont have the mood to work lahs!
but who can support me. hahha!
shall give my mum money if i could get my pay SUCCESSFULLY.
haahhahah! shall go and bathe. BYE(:

- i need to avoid all the places with our memories.
just because is all the good things that you've done for me.
& its filled with all wonderful memories.
im sorry, i cant face it. & i cant face myself more.

i dint went to work today!
I DONT WANT.
not as entu as before. =X
& so i dint go today.
be jealous. be so so jealous alright(:
got 100bucks from my grandpa
he gave me to buy clothes lahs
see see, im so pampered. right?
---------------------------------------------
specially for someone.
- sorry, we'll always be friends for now.
& so is later on in our life.
find yourself a better girl.
cause im not a girlfriend material.
if im, i wont break someone's heart.
i wont make him cry.
sorry, im just too afraid to get invlove
into a new r/s. even if i would,
also wont so fast. understand.?
sorry, for the time being, we'll just be friends.
and, im not a good gf.
so.. forget it. i wont et myself invlove in a r/s
for the time being, maybe 1 year. or even 3years.
dont ask me why 3years. i need a long break to rest.
im sorry..
------------------------------------------------
alright. shall go interview later =X
with nowell. argh.
mygod. please let me stay on for a job for 1month
not 1 day! alright. haha.
shall go for my shopping alr ):
spend money. i wantt that spec! ahahah
BYE(:

- if i've forgotten you.
i wouldn't have cried today.
or i wouldnt have to fake a smile.
could u imagine, how much i need&miss u?

uploading photo here so long; shall go friendster. www.friendster.com/lazyshirley

i want MONEY .

i've got soo many things to buy luhs..

went to work.. im so tired.

): my friend says i wont work for

more then 2days! HAHAH. 3rd day alr.

tmr still have ): i dont want alr.

seriously, i dont want to work alr..

cause its so tiring. i dont want !

went k-box with shiqi today..

sing till song. hahah! idle around marina.

spent so much today.

more then my pay luhs. ):
im so so fucking idiotic lahs.

spent spent spent. & tmr i want go again

cause i saw a spec that i liked alot ):
sing till half way. saw a song that was once

my friend's pm.. tell me,

does a song's title or what can represent a person feeling?

if it is, im so sorry. cried when i heard the lyrics.

& i cant control my tears, mood was DOWN after k-ing.

cabbed home again ): & benjamin called.

ask me to attend his family chalet. -.-Z

whatthehell. afterall, i wont be going.

cause i cant & i find no reason to.

but dawn say got motive. -.-?

nvmm. ignore it. hahah.

my heart is having a werid feeling.

so undescribe-able lahs. & i hate it..

sorry, mylostlove. the painess is something

which i could never feel. BYE.

- if i could let go.

but i cant, & im having such a feeling

which is so un-describe-able everyday.

mylostlove ; im sorry. i know its no use. but ...

here to do blogging.
today i woke up late today.
woke up at 8am. & called shiqi.
she asked whether have i wake up.
i said yes, & i fell asleep again! =X
HAHAHA. woke up at 8.40am.
supposed to reach at 9am. ohh shit.
i reached at 9.30am. LOLs. haha.okay lah
i was so fucking tired okay.
this 2days i slept only less then 5hours lahs.
went to meet nowell after that.
shiqi asked me to go clubbing soon.
not really clubbing lahs. haha.
but nowell & winnie scolded me. ):
anyway, i saw hakim in the morning
comming out from Queestown dunno what prison. -.-
hell you, better change for the better alright (: hah.
dont treat there as your second home. lol
took so many photos with nowell lahs.
tmr still have work. how am i going to wake up!
and i nearly drop the food lahs.
as you know, i sprain my hand, havent yet see a doctor.
& the food is so fucking heavy. HAND HURTS ):
maybe going k-box with shiqi tmr. HOHO.
sat needa go dua(:
cause we going cemetery or what. ( wrg spelling? )
& it means, i will be home late late late.
ohh no. anyone can send me home?
hahaha! nvm, i can go home ALONE alright.
alright, shall go & post photos at friendster. (:
BYE(:

- 悲伤的是我还爱你，悲哀的是我还不能面对自己。

hey hey, im HOME
i've think it through.
i dont want adidas watch anymore.!
cause before i buy the watch without thinking.
nowell & shiqi had been stopping me to buy it.
and after walking around tiong.
& i sort it out.. i dont want to buy alr. !
SEE SEE. but i spent it on movie & shoe ):
nvmm.. its not my money either. =X
be jealous. be so jealous alright =S
haahha. work in the morning.
fucking shit. i slept at 4am.
wake up at 7am. holy shit. got so many miss call.
73 alright. worst the the last time.
i got 40plus.. from sam, nowell, shiqi, yenkee.
my girlfriends lahs. for NCC thingy.
they morning call till at last i finally answered.
this reminded me of the stupid NCC thingy lahs. lol.
went queensway to search for jacket.
stupid me. still the money is being used up.
alright. i shall buy a cheaper watch.
i dont want to spent so much money. ):
as i dont want to be home early.
so, i rot around tiong with shiqi.
& nowell went home. cause she cant rot with me =X
hahahha! now with shiqi. drag her tomy house
so i wont be alone. !! HAHA =X
alright alright. i shall go see my shoe! =D
ohh yah! i've gotta work tmr also. ):
poor me. have to wake up early again. ):
haahhahhaha. okay okay. end here.
BYE (:

- if all this smile is real,
i wont be so afraid of loneliness anymore.

i spent so much today.
more then $50.. awww ):
i saw a adidas watch just now.
i want it. ! HOHO. wait for me!
was feeling so emo the whole day.
till now. can get rid of the feeling.
& its so un-explainable.
going for movie tmr.. woosh.
anyone want come? LOLs.
okays. shall end.
just came to post for fun.. (:
shall go and watch my teevee.
gotta work tmr ): awwww.
hahah! BYE (:

- if i could feel as numb as you.
weren't it be better?

HOHO.
yesterday night was ....
i dint get punishment alright =D
when i reached, so many indians lahs.
called my friend, chatted with me.
when im in lift.. got 3 with me lahs.
& i reached level 13 successfully. LOLs
went in, so empty.
cause people haven come.
saw kim jiejie. but tianpei ...
HAHA she's in bangkok. good lorhs.
chatted with kim jie2.
long long time never see le. .LOLs.
went in after that..
marks aint that good.. he took out a wooden
dunno what lahs.. its for my punishment..
then korkor says that my results not bad.
overall pass. thats why he kept that thingy away.
he drank beer..
as you know, their wine or whatever is pour in cup.
he drank a mouthful,
& he told me must celebrate cause i pass.
he asked me to drink. HOHO =S
dunno what.. ABC or whatever lahs.
he asked me to finish it up.
i was like huh? then he said, 1 mouth can le.
cause got a korkor say im still young.
i drank a mouth. & he told korkor that im a good drinker.
LOLs. everybody laugh.
he told me not to drink outside. later kana "rap"
-.-" want drink go find him.. LOL
he asked me to do better the next exam.
whats the reason that cause it i should know better.
he asked whether did i tried my best..
i said no. he say he knows why i dint.
& want me not to repeat my mistake.
if not i will get a serious punishment from him.
okay lahs.. i know what he mean.
& im surprise he dint punish me. (:
see see, im blessed to have a good kuebei.
felt like drinking after that mouth he fed me.
lols. i dint okay.. if not i will get scolding from
WINNIE as well as NOWELL =X
alright. shall go out later?
or stay at home.
should i get N80 or N73 ??
kim jie2 made me blur alr..
hahahah! im spending money again.
handphone & adidas jacket ...
i MUST work .. if not NO money ):
anyway, im thinking of cutting my hair short.
cause a new hair cut. a new me.
maybe wait till i really put down my past.
& i will go & find a new me.
till here. BYE (:

- i L u .
im trying hard to find back my old-self.
but it seems so hard.

im home..
HOHO. (: im doing preparation.

cause im going dua today..

seriously going up today..

went bowling with uncle.

see his score.! 100plus.. duhh.

previous was better. but dint take photo of it.

when i dint look at him, he strike.

when i look.. die also never srike..

HAHAAHA. he's good at it lahs.

was very emo before that. ):
& yaoxing went to paint and do some

stupid funnie face

& asked me to cheer up.. how nice. =/

lols..& again, we're just friends lahs.

dunno how did i get emo.

& when im home..saw zhixun.

he gave me chocolates! DOVE yummy! =D
thanks thanks. hahaha.

i dont know why he bought it.

said thank you to him.

& i start to eat.. hahahha!

waiting for 8pm to come. & i shall head to dua.

benny messaged. was hesitating should i reply.

okay. i dint reply due to yesterday of what he asked.

so, dont want to give false hope.

& i dint reply. & i believe i did the right thing lahs.

- im waiting for it to fade. cause i cant force it.

i hope it fade soon. cause im suffering everyday.

& i want the sufferings to end.

back.
time to blogg.. (:
was fun playing with ling's lil cousin.
hahahah..i cant swim):
went to play bowling..loser will pay.
heng. ONGLING PAID. lol.
went to buy cashcard & prepaod card.
saw a queenswayan girl.
dunno who is she. she smile at me
& i smile back.
gosh, my pay just used up on
nowell's present & louis prepaid. lol
& im broke lahs..
have to work on monday.
tmr gonna take money from dad. HOHO
means. im not gonna be broke already.
i think god dote on me alot yeah?
cause whenever i need money.
& money will appear lahs. isnt it great ?
but i also should save money.
my adidas jacket.. HOHO
mum's going to buy for me.
but i rejected. cause dont wan use her $$ .
the pizza is here.. WOOOOHSS.
im going to grow fatter.
i should enjoy the food right.
not by not eating everyday.
cause it wont help.. yes it help..
i can be slimmer abit lahs. =S
but, just dont feel like eating.
needa go eat.. buh-bye. (:

- every of you.
im crying even though it so over.

am going safra for swimming soon.
not me lahs. go see see only ):
& father's day comming..
& the date made me stunned.
okay..mum asked me to buy father's
day present for uncleJoe.
cause uncle joe dotted on me alot..
& its the first time that i've to buy present
for father's day.. my first time.
& its not for my own father..
i feel so hard to buy present for guy luhs.
maybe buy soccer shirt?
hahaha..i dunno. and im going to work on monday.
HOHOHO. means.... im going to have $$ again =DD
so bored. ohh myy holy shit..
have to go dua tmr..
& I MUST GOO..
its been long time since i went..
scolding is un-avoidable.
kneeling.. im not sure..i hope not =/
okay. shall go and pack.. BYE (:

- can you imagine how
had i suffered during the days without you?

watching teevee now.
sian sian sian.
trying to remove nail polish.
on the phone with ongLing.
& his lil cousin.. so CUTE.
woke up by jobell at 11plus.
woke me up to teach her homework.
-.-" wth. everybody got scolded by me.
sorry everybody. ):
stayed at home today..
have been missing someone.
thought that i could have got over.
yet stil dint.
ohh yah! sorry LOUIS.
dint buy your prepaid today.
cause i dint go out today.
TOMORROW I PROMISE.
cause im going swimming with ling tmr.
hahahaha! im not swimming ):
due to some stupid reason lah! -.-!
& i shall buy louis prepaid tmr..
shall go & talk to ling's cousin..
SO CUTE THE VOICE ((((:

- i haven got over you.
cause the love i invest is too much.
& the love is strong.

finally, im having the mood of blogging.
went school today.
yet teachers dunno run where.
before i reached, saw people.
HOHO. was looking at other side.
but im not avoiding..
saw ms annie tan
gosh! NCC. she was like . NAG NAG NAG.
and she saw my nails..
and she said i dye hair.
okay! i NEVER. its been so long.
ARE YOU BLIND =/
told her long time ago have.
she said..
annieTan:orhh, so you've been comming to school
in this hair colour uhh?
me: err, no..spray lahs.. NATURAL COLOUR LAHS. =X
annieTan: natural, you sure?
me: NO. LOLs
walked around the school..
lol..as if im not been there for years.
went to meet up with mum for things.
& went ICA building. FOR MY IC ! =D
took photo there.. sucks!
the photo looked ugly.
& went tiong to walkked.
and go nowell's house..
cause dint want to walk home.
as my ' mang chang' at my left of body.
is aching whenever i walk too long.
my friends say maybe i got 'mang chang yan'
nowell say.. later inside got hole -.-
lols.. dunno whether should i go to doctor.
but its very painful when i walked home from tiong.
so friends, help me pray that im alright ya.
& i believe that im.. hahahahh! =X
buy nail polish.. & im spending too much!
i realise i've already spent $300++
from holiday till now! ohh gosh!
i must save money!!! but nowell they all.
always says that i wont succeed.
ongling also! i must TRY to prove them wrong. =/
cabbed home.. was messging yaoxing.
& talked to louis.
must buy prepaid card for him.
cause im bored. he called and talked to me =X
mrNice guy(: hahahahah
played. bejeweled with louis.
the game sucks. i cursed him..
& all my curse come true. HOHOHO.
played minesweep. solitaire too.! i won! lol.
checkers.. so many many games lahs!
okay okay.shall stop blogging.. cause
i dont have the mood to blog.
i want to do manicure. =X NONO. save money ):
anyway! im aimming adidas. jacket.. HOHOHO
opps. im going spent money again..
nvmm! i shall go and work!
& i'll have money to spent! bad bad habit i know.
but.. lol ..
just used to pampered life..
TRYING TRYING to change lahs..
it takes time.. =S
BYE(: nights people(:

- all the sufferings are worth.
cause i got your smile in return.
it dosent matter if im not the one you are smiling at.
cause i want you to be happy.

you know what
im stucked outside my house for 1hour!
OMG. BLUR ME.
dint bring key.. and was like.. fucking shit.
called mum, and she delivered the key to me.
so happy lahs.. yet -.-!
my grandma locked the gate
& my mum dosent have the key..
still have to wait for my grandma lahs! duhh.
messaged my friend...
louis called.. hahaha.
went tiong and watch sheirk.
funnie show.. NICE NICE =D
went raja inn.. and walk around tiong..
and walked home.
ongling walk with me.. HOHO.
and she asked me why..
i ask her to walk with me and she'll know.
& she saw alot of bangala..
&she say she knows the reason why..haha.
thanks thanks ongling.
brought a notebook..
for some special use..
a lol bankbox..very cute! HAHA.
im spending money like water again ):
BAD BAD HABIT . ><
friends, please control me..
eyes red red le.. ):
shall go and watch teevee.. blog tomorrow! (:

- i cant imagine
how much i've miss you EVERYDAY.

im backk home now.
went to watch movie.
the pirates of what de...
met up with nowell,
her uncle&aunty.
the 3small kids. AHAHA.
the kids are like quite noisy ..
LOLs. and keep ask them shhh shhh ..
saw somebody.. was like.. -.0? ..
and then walk out..
went to play.. and walked home..
saw them again.. was like.. omg?
speed up & reached home fast.
so tired now..
viewed nowell's blog..
HOHO. nvmm, watching superstar now.
okay.shall blog later or tomorrow.
BYE (:

- i know i love you deep enough.
though its over, but i still do.

HOHO. time for daily blog.
actually, dint have the mood to blog.
but i just dunno why i came to blogger.

seriously, have been thinking yesterday night.
i should not be hanging on..
but somehow,
whenever i was to give up.
many things will be there to stop me.
i cant describle whats that.
but it just hurts me alot ..
millions&millions of knives stabbing me.
yet, recieving it alone.
whenever i felt numb,
just somehow, awhile later..
painess will appear..
always asked myself to give up.
to stop the love for him..
yet, i just cant.. it seems like..
i've lost control of my emotion.
he've took away my heart long ago.
yet, still with him..
my heart have been following him..
& dint even come back once.
only the day when he return me,
i will keep it.. not giving to others yet.
cause i need to heal it..
whenever i wants to give up.
not to hang on..
just so many knives came to stab my heart.
why is it so? why cant i let go without sufferings?
why cant i be the same with him?
letting go without any pain?
if he did recieve sufferings.
im sorry, even though its over,
im still bring painess for you.
if you dint, thats good for you.
jus cant get my emotional right.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
going out to watch movie with nowell soon.
happy birthday nowell (:
it been a long time since i watched movie.
yes, i should update .
not staying at the past of the last movie i watched.
thanks for all the wonderful memories you gave.

- if the love is strong.
it dosent matter how far apart are we.
but i doubt that your love for me is still there.
just because of the history.

woooh. woke up at 12pm.
went to wash up.
& watch ' huan zhu ge ge '
AHAHAHHAHAHA.
just so emo now..
just cried again ..what for?
I DUNNO WHY THE FUCK
DID I DROP MY TEARS AGAIN.
but, i just cant control myself.
nvmm, just need time..
maybe time will heal.
for him , but time kills,
for me.. why not i die?
HOHO. so sihan, remember what u said.
burn paper car for me.. LOL
don say i keep ask people got car anot.
when i heard they are 18 and above.
i will ask whether they drive anot...
they say im crazy..
yeah, im crazy long ago..
so sihan, must remember your promise.
argh. dont have the appetite to eat.
hais, shall end here.

- im loving you still,
even though your love have stop.
but mine's still there.

im home.
* tired tired *
dint buy nowell's present at all.
shall buy tomorrow. =P
went to skate.
yet ))): cannot skate.
cause skaters are having competitions.
alamak. went k-box instead.
hahaha! sing sing sing.
& get myself into emo mood again.
so is nowell ... why do we have to be emo.?
sing till 6plus.. head to marina south.
the butter shot into my eyes !!
PAIN PAIN PAIN okay!. lols.
okay. sit at the place near ............. =X
& was thinking backk.. WHAT THE HELL .
WHY SHOULD I THINK BACKK AGAIN ?
heard things from louis.
* smack head *
okay, seriously..
at that point of time.
i dont feel the pain at all ..
not at all lahs, just abit ?
okay, think think think..
okay. EVERYTHING IS MY FUCKING FAULT.
SIMPLE. . . im not trying to be what.
but im just admiting my fault..
& seriously i know where's my fault.
cabbed to east coast for BBQ.
jerlyn birthday..
on the way, what louis told me..
came to my mind again.
just felt thousands of knives stabbing me.
but tears are crowding,
only 1 drip of my tears dropped.
im sorry, my tears have all been used up.
you have been protecting me,
you recieve the pain one by one,
you kept all the painess that you recieve.
and threw it all at me at a time.
maybe im just not a girlfriend material.
im telling myself not to look back.
even though im still at the same spot..
i also shouldnt look backk anymore..
im trying, even if i were to use force.
i would try, im trying hard to find back
the smile that i used to have...
at BBQ, shouted & shouted .
shall not get emo anymore..
anyway, i dint ask louis to do
ANYTHING AT ALL . thanks.

- no turning backk,
but my heart will still be with you.

HOHO.
im waiting for nowell to make hair.
haha..going skating soon.
saw something, yet i felt so disapointed now
dont ask me why.
should i do another manicure?
or stay on.. lol.. i dunno..
wasent at home yesterday.
talked to gilbert yesterday night.
hais. talked till what had
happen at winnie's chalet thingy.
he asked where is the cheerful shirley
the one that always laugh,
run&jump here and there de shirley.
i told him die already.
deepest of my mood.
yes, he talked to me alot.
so many things running through my mind.
cried in between of the conversation.
wasent able to sleep well yesterday.
was on bed thinking till 5plus.
and messaged yaoxing.
still gamming.

oh ya! PLEASE.
YAOXING IS MY FRIEND ONLY. -.-
DONT THINK SO FARRR OKAY!

im just so fuck .
what gilbert told me at chalet.
if my attidue were to chance a lilbit more.
maybe things wont be like this now.
he asked me to expose my campusmoblog to him.
yet i dont want ..
he laugh at me for deleting most
of the post away. what a KORKOR !
nvmm. okay... shall go for skating now.
we're late already!!
anyway! I GOT MY PAY
60BUCKS WOOOHOOOOOOO (((((:
BYE.

- i know i have a fucking attidue,
but its not what i want to have it.
its not easy to change,
but im still trying. *why am i ?*

okay, at nowell's house now.
was helping her with some problems.
chatting with louis & ...
boring, winnie haven come home.
ahem, maybe with ahemm...LOL
sian sian.
actually i also dunno what to post.
going offline soon!
AND, im going skating tomorrow.
HOHO . still finding people.
only got
winnie, don, me, nowell, louis.
5people.. 3more people to go..
hahaha! maybe yaoxing comming?
hah, i go call my friend le..
BYE

- if i could stop myself from loving you.

woke up at 1.35pm!
eyes swollen.. ):
cried yesterday night.
dont ask why.
i myself also dunno about it..
so many memories..
yet, are so hurtful..
why is it so?
i thought memories are breautiful?
which will bring smile to one?
why i wasent smilling?
haiz..okay..dont talk about it..
im hungry.. ):
seriously, i dunno what to blog already.
NCC .. never go!
omg, senior CPL. HAHAHAHAH
if there's another chance.
i will go and take the exam?
i dunno..if become senior CPL.
kill me then, if you want me to go NCC.
& where is my marksman badge!
my precious badge okay!
who would have thought i got marksman??
i myself also dont think so..
so, that badge is very PRECIOUS.
okay! hahahahah! last memory in NCC ?
before im totally out of NCC ?
14thJune maran's birthday.
having outing for NCC at sentosa.
staying over night.
are we going ?
maybe not ? why are we going?
BYE. im going to cook maggie.
HUNGRY SHIRLEY ):

- the love for you is so uncure-able.