The course of true love never did run smooth.

still sickk ):
went to school in morning.
ongling asked me to turn ..
so i turned and i saw...
went up to class... SLEEP..
after school, got maths remedial.. i went okay
and im the one who asked for it TOO =X
see, i become more guai le. (:
went to hawker with ongling to eat..
then go back school..
have to zap many things tmr..
im going to get pay soon!
500+ this month.. HAHA
i dint realise i've been working for so many hours perday,
NOT BAD UHH.
was doing hotdog today..
everybody so emo in kitchen..
then no choice.. keep quiet..
dint eat till i reached closing.. and i dont feel hungry.
then zalif messaged me.. he told me he'll come.
then tmr work as cashier..
i want to do kitchen!! HOTDOGS..
nevermind.. hahahha! as long as i got chance everyweek,
now no more server for me alr. HAHA
thinking of 500 .. i've got so many things to buy alr.
off work early.. went to wait for zalif at the same place..
cried, think of many many things..
why is it that is zalif who come and fetch me....
and lots of shit im thinking..
cried.. and rubbed my eyes. HAHA
i got redish eyes now.. ):
hahahhaha! im tired.. shall go and bathe soon..
NIGHTS PEOPLE..

- im gonna be running out of my energy soon.
whats all this? its just simply hurts alot.. but not to you anymore.

im SO SO SO tiredd..
just finish watching superstar..
GH's song is nice.. but dosent suits him bahs..
thats why it pull his marks down..
so now, yahs, waiting for results..
( jiayou )
while listening, i was thinking,
are you listening to the lyrics like me too.
thinking of u throughout.. how about you.
i know you wont, and i tried not to think about it too.

alright, school sucks..
due to what we saw at canteen..
shall not be post out..
and morning in the bus.
OMG, you are so bloody stupid to get
another person's accomapny lahs..
sumre, omg.. no comment.. really.. PRO DAOOO. -.-
slept at maths, chinese lessons..
teacher kept waking me up luhs..
cheng took away my food and drinks. FUCKTARD
he caught my nails.. but, dint even care..
took my food. should have just throw into rubbish bin .
he told me to collect back after school.
dint bother to do so..
cause its just meant to keep me awake from lessons.!
so, do u think i still need it ?!!
HAHAHAHHAHA! i know im bad..
went to hawker with louis, sumei, boonpeng..
then samm, shiqi and ongling went too..
sat with louis they all instead of samm..
sorry my girlfriends. =X
and got so fucked up with HER.
A FUCKING CHEEBYE.
went back to school alone to wait for nowell..
saw sihan.. he went over to talked to me..
and magic time AGAIN ! =D
3.30pm.. and dismiss. HAHA ..
went to bustop.. and nowell asked me to look up..
cause im looking at grass thinking of things..
and i looked up.. i saw him..
dunno should i be happy or sad..
cause my heart aches alot at that very moment when i saw him
kept quiet and look back at my grass. LOL
took 195 to tiong..
went to kopitiam with well..cause she's hungry..
then weeleng, shuan and a guy came.
they came to find nowell.
talked.. talked.. talked.. went to nowell house..
and i've got fever.. sick again..
but its still him who will motivate me to make
the effort to go to school...
progress report.. my attendence DAMM GOOD.
FULL ATTENDENCE alright..
compare to last few months..
for may and july.. FULL.. AHAHHAHAHA!
if things aint like this, i dont think i would have
such a GOOD attendence alr..
so i should thank him too..
just now went to cook eat and eat..
omg .. i hit to the pan.. and my hand..
got scar alr.. its so damm bloody painful luhs..
sumre plus im sick.. gosh, must well take my life away
from me then GOD. thank u..
now im feeling damm hot all over me.. i mean the FEVER.
and im sleepy.. so, shall turn in earrly after the results.
thats all..
BYE (:

- its u who made me strong,
and its also u who pulls me down.

awww, im sick..
went to work at 12plus..
work up at 9am.. early uhh! cause im sick ):
talked to louis on phone from 9am to 12pm.
then went to work.. stomach damm pain..
but still have to work..
dennis asked me to go home. but dint wanto..
somemore im getting my pay soon.
i should work harder..
then have abit of qurral with them,
was fine after that.. then same, work till 11pm..
i sold 12superburgers and 5 double cheeseburger! (:
yays! .. i wanto work in fries ):
maybe helping neela to do manicure..
so, went to meet up with zalif and he drove me home..
see, he's good...
zul, farah was there too..
talked to farah for awhile.. and i sat at zal, and zul farah 1 bike.
home, stomach hurts alot ):
sick sick sick.. but, still will be going school tmr.
im tired. i shall go and sleep..
NIGHTS to the WORLD.

- i've tried real hard,
but it dosent seems to be successful.

i suddenly realise dont know how to start..
okay, went to work at 12plus..
and ken(manager) told me..
ken: eh, shirley, 12superbuger today.!
me: what the fuck. u sell urself..
ken: 12superbuger, no fuck..
me: u think so easy ah! u sell urself. siao..
ken: u one night can sell 8. today whole day,
12buger, easy lahs..
me: but my i dont feel that pple will buy superburger today =/
ken: *laughing*
end up, i sold 4 superbuger and 3 double cheese.
new patten again, add egg to burgers..
and i sold quite alot.. and boss says that im good! =D
and ken told him that i can sell superburger. =x
but lucky i got sell superburger add egg.
at least got 1 better then nothing (:
then went to dua, nowell went with me..
told kuebei things..
and some school stuffs.. kim jie2 talked to me after that..
so yahs, thanks to everyone in sindua(:
then went to safra to play pool with nowell and shiqi.
wanted to play swing, end up..
i saw the swing swinging itself..
not supertitious.. but, it swings itself for a long time..
and its slowly de, how come? it should stop..
so, walked away. dint play after that..
went to pool, and went redhill to eat..
and saw marvin. he was with those sec5 guys..
said hi to him and off he go...
after eating, cabbed home with qi.
and now im blogging(:
tmr working at 12pm ):
dennis is the one who plans sechduel now.
maybe working on tues, wed..
but at 7 cause of NDP.. will be tiring, but i dont mind..
thurs and maybe friday.. sat and sun!
when the day u see that i've stop working..
means i nolonger need to work to stop think of u.
means i can stop thinking of u .
thats why i dosent need to work to stop all this..
and its also you who made me stay in a work for so long,
you'd changed my life totally diferent from my past...
but i know, im still loving you.

- i cant expect anything from you,
but all i can recieve from you is just your smile.

today sucks.. sucks totally..
morning, read the chinese story book..
english lesson..
watch ' rent ' never watch the front part ):
cause i was sleeping while they are watching.
the last part was damm touching..
and i cried when they plays the music..
its really very meaningful..
i think the title is ' your eyes ' .
went to imeem to search.. but 30secs only ):
assembly, shiqi said that sec5s are talking bout us..
cause their class are behind us only..
okay.. i dint went to listen what the fuck are they talking.
i fell asleep there.. and ongling kept disturbing me.
went back class.. helped sam to write lines cause she's late..
then have some qurral with jayanthi..
went to mrHo after that..
so the thing is settle yah..
so, we'll not talk to each other for no fucking reason ya..
dint go for parade.. so, im home now.. TIRED.
today just simply sucks so much.. really..
im trying to find that 2 songs!
if u have.. please send me ):

- you'll never know how i past today's time..
time passes so slow.. and knives have been stabbin non-stop
right into my heart..

just finish blogging at other blog..
so came here.
morning, same as usual. ongling helped me
to take my bag all day long. (:
saw him standing.. dint turn at all? ahaha
ya, i should move on.
im trying hard. trying very hard.
its easier to say.. but its hard to be done..
english lesson, i fell asleep while watching show.
hahahah! PRO HOR. =/
recess sucks.! cause of sihan..
he scare me.. really.. shall not post out why..
i slept in eng lesson while watching movie..
i just doze off without me knowing too..
woke up suddenly.. and try to go back to sleep again..
went tiong for steamboat again..
went popular to buy books.. but dint..
ongling bought 3 books.
1 is what i wanto buy.. then dint.

- 谢谢你，伤我的人。-

when i saw this book.
he came to my mind..
and i flip through and read..
one sentence make me try to memorize it..

- 感谢生命出现的没一的人，您让我看见生命不同的风景与美丽。-

the first one i think of is him..
yes, u..u made me know that.
in life.. there're happy & sad.
but, sadness is always more than happiness....
another book is..
- 要学会放手。-
gonna buy this book soon?
maybe we wanto play the - ka luo pai - 卡罗牌 .
but we dunno whether we should or not..
many many things happen lately..
dont really know whether should i go school anot.
tmr got test. . yet i dint study..
sure fail this time..
let it be then.. it dosent matters? i dunno..
shall go and read the book..
BYE(:

- u made me know whats life..
but you left without a goodbye.

cried on my way home..
dont ask why..
i've realise that.. my life is so meaningless now.
everyday go school not to study..
everyday go work just to keep my mind busy.
school work school work. sleep.
thats all.. its been long time since i really
go out and enjoy myself. . .
3months alr eh? fast. 2more months. and bye.
whats life.? i seriously dont understand..
why should this person be on the earth when her life
is so damm bloody fucking meaningless? right?
its just so useless...
anyway, im trying to get myself into suspension now..
no mood for studying..
if i were to be absent for school..
it means, you no longer motivate me anymore..
means i really have give up on it.
i dont wish to see u and get upset later on..
i went to school is just because of. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
if i dont go.. means its time that im trying hard to leave the cave.
i've realise that this 3months. i've not get any mc's for myself.
flip through the management file..
and i dint see my name..
time files eh? last semaster.. my name will pop out every few pages..
may & july.. my name dint appear..
surprise? i find it so unbelieveable..
but i think i will start to dissapear from school again soon.
if i dont. means something is not right in me..
or maybe, im still in the cave..
when im out of the cave totally..
i'll disappear soon too (:
so friends, lets play hid and seek with me eh..
school are so sucky this few days..
my life is in total mess. . .
within this month.. for july only..
i've alr invlove in 9cases alr..
not bad ehhh? police cause not yet..maybe soon ?
i just find my life damm fucking meaningless now..
so, should bright up my life and walk through the darkness ..
HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA.. im better off dead.
going to work alr..
and stupid noel say..
use friendster msg to talk to each other.. its fun! -.-/
YOU ARE DAMM LAME. LOL

BYE(:

- 3words8letters1meaning.

ILOVEYOU.

home from work..
very very very tired now...
just now, i nearly fell from trolley.. !
SO PAISEH LAHS.
and nowell, eleanor kept laughing at me..
huijie still blur blur ask why!
LOL. if i fell, i will be damm paiseh lahs!
took bacon chick home..
and im so full now.. tmr pe. ):
RUNNING AGAIN. GOSH.
i just simply hate running so much,
or u should say. i totally hate the whole pe timetable):
nvm, its alright.. HAHAH. im CRAZY alr..
shall post till here.
going to another blog to post..
BYE(:

- i need no one else, other then u.

i think i've got into lots of trouble recently.
1st- sec5
2nd- cheng eng peng
3rd- passerby
4rd- friends.
5th- girlfriends.
6th- CHENG again..

anyway, my grades drop alot alot. .
my mother tongue test used to be the top in class
no matter what. i would get top..
now, i fell to 4th place..
yet i dint even feel wasted or what. .
in the past. i would aim to be top.. if i got 2nd.
i would be very fed up with myself. .
now i got 4th. the first time..
and i dont feel wasted or what at all ..
maybe is because i've lost intrest in studies alr..
thats why, even my strongest subject..
i can also fell down down . . .
tmr gonna to have some problems again..
hais. maybe will get stand at ps tmr morning..
cause of the cheng thingy..
im going to get into a emo world again..
shall go and bathe now..
anyway, going to change a new bloggy alr..
cause this blog is too explose..
shall post some more personal stuffs there..
BYE(:

- everytime i tried to leave,
but obstacle kept pulling me backk.

im finally home.
shall upload pics tmr yah(:
went to work on time..
cashier cashier cahsier . . .
im so tired.. i nearly lost my rings..
LUCKY I FOUND IT BACK ! !
huijie took a bun out..
and i pretend that im using a fone..
and i used a marker to draw numbers.. HAHA
then play around..
huijie make me look like a fool !
throw a chicken ripper box with nothing inside =(
and she kept laughin at me!
STUPID HUIJIE.. BLUEK
home by motobike (:
am im sleepy now..
just now got so moody till i nearly qurral with well ..
sorry (:
tues working as server.. ):
NVMM ! ((:

- i've tried my very best to let go of u . . .
but i always failed to do so ..

alright, a short post..
went to jln bersa?( dunno how to spell ) with ling.
i drink gasber" 1 cup..
and i dint drunk alright..
ate mac.. omg, im going to be FAT FAT FAT ):
then im home now..
sleeping now.. cause tmr have to workk ..
alright, shall end here..
BYE(:

- even though im in a deep sleep,
i would stil wake up and think bout u ..

home, went to work at 12 plus..
cashier today.. (:
but i got - tang dao - by the hot icetea. )):
my hand got so red.. but still have to be fast..
everybody was so busy.. so, went to take a ice and cool down.
then work again.. i sold 4 superburger today! ):
i aim 5.. but nvm, i tried my best alr..
just now went for a movie..
bought invisible target. i think.
but end up watching vacancy(: NC16..
saw daniel , told him we want to watch NC16..
but the cashier dont allow us to watch..
so end up..daniel help us to smuggle to vanacy.
NICE. but scary.. =/
then run to exit.. cause we scared later daniel got into trouble
end up we still have to go pass the big exit.
cause staircase got guys there with pants off.
they dint saw us. we run back to cinema. yet cant open the door. .
called daniel. he came to save us. LOL
WAS LIKE. vancancy 2 LOL
met up with ongling. she's here now..
and we are going out now..
BYE(:

- can i still look into ur eyes once more time
and tell u how much i NEED u ?

before this dream,
i kept wishing that i would have a wonderful dream.
yes, i got one.. but i failed to know that
after the dream, we'll still have to wake up..
after a beautiful dream, nightmare will fall.
i've woke up from my dream, but i still choose to close my eyes.
hoping that i would fall alseep back and have the dream again..
i must have prepared to know that i would wake up..
but i dint, i thought it would last forever..
but it dosent seems so..
i finally had a sweet dream, yet i dint cherish it well.
maybe our fate is till here.
or mayber i should cherish the dream more.
i should be content that at least i had this dream..
but why i cant feel the happiness in me?
i should thank god, thank him that.
at least, he let me have wonderful memories.
thank god at least i could once had him. .
at least i had once been with him.
no way of turning back to the past.
but why fate have to play this prank on me.
7months. not long and short.
but, at least i could have a 7months. when some others cant even have
i should be so content bout it.
but why i dont feel happy at all .
its been 3 months. yet im still closing my eyes.
wanting to fall back into this dream.
i should have open up my eyes. and let others enrter.
like what my friend said. but i just cant. and i dont want ..
but if this is what fate wants me to.
i'll still accept it afterall . .
at least.
i thank both for letting me to have such a memory.
a happy yet hurtful one.

im just so confused.

went to canteen, sec5s were infront of us

then dont want to look at them..

later got into trouble again..

so i turn, and i saw him. directly ..
he turned and saw.. and he is like angry?
i think he told mark.. -.-

then jaya got blahsss~
then shiqi shouted at me..

shouted backk, cause got scold for no fuck!
i did force myself not to see him anymore.

hope that i will succeed soon..

went to hawker after school.

was trying to settle shiqi and jaya things..

oh ya. we kana conseller. cause we cut hands. -.-

but the conseller very good..

then nowell saw hers.. so is ongling..

but i dint saw him.. but nvm..

went tiong to eat raja inn. take neoprints..

spent so much.. got so emo now..

i dunno why.. talking to louis on phone..

he's nice(: thanks louis..

i will still force not to love. and i will. .. . ARGH
samm asked me want to go and play

-ka luo pai- anot.
those tatko . i dunno lahs. chinese is ' ka luo pai'

but our lifespan will be short.cause we know bout future

how? should i go and ask?
hahahah. i rather die eariler..
BYE(:

- ur smile is what that is pulling me thru all the obstacle..

HOME.
im tired.. saw my taggy..
more sian, another new badge of people comming again.
they thinks that my taggy will help them pass time?
so be it.. just post if u wanto.. i wont mind.
cause i wont be there to reply or entertain ur posts? ..
went to work..
i hit the target of what my mananger wants.
6superbuger.. can u imagine.
ahda say i very good..
cause no body can see 6 superburger in a hour..
and i did it.. or even 6 superburger a day..
YAY!! (:
so i knock off early at 10.. ps nowell .. =/
and i hit target of 5 choc densa.. (:
im tired now lahs.
i needa my sleep. nights!
BYE(:

- its u who i wanto be with.
nobody else can replace this postiton.

home..going to work soon ):
dont feel like working anymore.
but think of having no job. . .
blahhhhss... arrrrrrgggggghhhhhh. ):
went to school, yet. . .
nvmm, went to class. .
trying to take out my earing that i just pierced..
pain ): went toilet.. make make make.
then go class.. boring.
MY LIFE IS SO FUCKING BORING NOWADAYS..
mothertongue lesson no key.
went to take key. and when im at staircase going back.
i saw someone (:
but dint do anything, or can say.. cant do anything..
chinese lesson, i kept talking back to teacher. =X
mdm ku got so fed up with me.. AHHAHAAH.
after school.. went out of class..
stand there for nothing luhs..
everyday also lidat..
and i suddenly saw someone!(:
stupid shiqi and ongling shout out his name.
and say they are calling shawnCHUI CHUI. shiqi one lahs..
asked them to shout water cooler instead of shawn CHUI..
louis and si han walked over to me..
talk talk talk.. and si han went up to lvl 6..
i was talking to nowell .. she's at lvl2.. LOL
and sihan shouted..
* ehh, want to see ahh.. come up lah *
-.-" i was like.. what the fuck?!
walked down to lvl 2 to find nowell..
head to hawker.. and i saw someone. (:
no seat .. ): then suddenly got 2..
and its so near to his.. -.-
and nowell ongling was like..
want sit which table. -.-' i was totally like.. wht the fuck?
asked them to go to the further table..
and they asked me which seat i wanto sit .. -.-"
eat eat eat.. we are so so near. . . yet.. different from the past..
and im the last who finish the food. ):
nowell shiqi ongling was waiting for me.. =X
and saw shiqi and ongling hand.. i took out penknife..
cut 6.. nowell 12..
and they was like stoppin us..
dont cut if u girls dosent want us to ..
then i realise his friends were al behind -.-
but hack care .. nobody is going to care. supid ipod canot charge.
FUCK, my cb ipod..
droped in the morning.. now lidat. . FUCK
no ipod alr.. )))):
saw sihan and yongsheng at busstop..
sihan told me he went up and say things.
i was like.. WHAT THE FUCK. u really GO?
he said yahs.. and i just cried out..
he came to me and see.
i was like hiding from him.
then he kept pulling me backk . -.-
but he good. he helped me to take my file till my bus came(:
but still, i miss him . .
BYE

- the painess is growing in her heart .

long time no blogg?
go back to aesthetic night alright..
went there after doing our hair..
was actually not doing..
but see nowell do.. also want to play..
then turn out. i think i looked like a MONSTER.
so paiseh when i reached dover..
was looking everywhere.
and ongling saw him first..
his shirt shocked me..
if i had never guess wrong, that shirt .. .
okay whatever.
he looked so different lahs..
went to the very back of the seat. .
but kana drag down.. so went to front front..
and something caught my eye.
and i've been looking for so long. i found it.
changed so muchh.. cried halfway through the concert.
arobind? he sang very nice..
and the lyrics are the cause of my tears.
dont think he would even bother to turn.
nvmm, after concert.. went to town to eat..
i pulled shiqi's ear. and she cried. =X
then went to john's dua..
jinchi me shiqi and john..
john was so busy disturbing shiqi bout her voice..
- FAST FORWARD ~
went to workk .. and town again with
don winnie nowell gilbert..
was playin with gilbert. cause its been so long since we last met.
and both status are single..
so we dosent have to be careful or whatever.
but we are brother and sister lahs.
on the way. i pass great world.
& tears dint stop till i reached town. .
went to play pool..
and went to their dua again.
was with a girl.. and got shanqian john samul .
shanqian and samul went to sleep on lorry.
john went to set up his own * bed *
kept disturbing shanqian . .
cause when im sleepy. he disturbed me till im hyper.
so when he's sleepy. HOHO
picked up grass..
tickle his ear. put it on his head. .
and he kept asking me to fuck off.
hahaha. so went to john and kajiao him
he dint scold me at all. hahahah.
NICE JOHN.
went back to shanqian again.
and he cant sleep anymore..
valentino also kept disturbing him.
and valentino messaged me and told me somethings.
which made me start to avoid himm ..
sorry, cause of what u said ..
will make us feel werid when we met.
so avoid each other is the best. (:
and we'll be friends..
stupid shanqian dint went to work today..
wed he's going.. hope he will lahs..
now im sooo fucking sleepy..
shall go and sleep.
cant skip school at all. and only 1 reason that makes me go school.
shall end here.
BYE.
OHH YA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMM. MUACKSSSS

- do u think i like to be so busy everyday?
work everyday, ton everynight.
just because i want to keep myself busy,
so u wont be filled with my mind.
are u thinking about me like how i did?
i doubt so ...
its u who can make me tears. . .
u changed my life totally ...

I LOVE THE NEW SITTING PLAN.
i mean for the morning at parade square..
but hate it too. cause near to sec5.
went to class. was like behind him only..
walk up went toilet .. haha. everyday also lidat.
slept in class. went library for eng lesson.
then i fell asleep while reading. LOL
louis class came. and louis, yongsheng, sihan was making me.
i shouted fuck. & stunned when i saw them.
went recess. yacub, rismail, khairul .. .. ... all sit with us.
but sec5 they all never le.
hope that there's no more trouble.
ongling hit my hand and told me to turn.
so i turned, and YEAH ((:
dint look much today..cause of his friend.
so went toilet. and come out. got caught by chua.
then nowell was like reminding me bout my ear.
then nothing le.. went back class.
was looking at lvl 4.. yet, sadd. ..
after school called my mum, - BLAHS.
went hawker. and i got a glance. (:
was very sad that its only a glance.
but more to happy, cause at least one last view..
went back school after that. . .
cause mum came down to see cheng..
saw his friend they all .. and wong ..
and ongling told me..
ehh she never use small eyes and stare at me.
and me and nowell was like laughing. . .
cheng returned me my rings!! =DD
omg, im so happy!!!
and i saw him came back to school. but he went toilet.
cheng called for me after he talked to my mum.
but i kept turning, yet nobody..
nvmm, at least i did saw him(:
though it hurts alot when i saw him..
but of cause, more to happy..
maybe fate wants it this way..
its my punishment for treating him badly in the past ?
thats why the love now, have to be kept for myself..
and it hurts alot.. but, i choose to love him still..
went bugis.. ~ BLAHS.
spent $140.. OMG. shit..
argh. things were so heavy..
memories flashed back. got so emo..
if things aint like this... ..........
BYE.
tmr aesthetics night. HOHO.. ):
im gonna to go home alone.. ):
how i wished that he'd be with me.. but ...
nvmmmm (: im independent enough.. (:
and hope tmr, nothing's gonna happen.
i mean the trouble that happen 2 days ago..
if not, i dont need to go home alife alr..

- i need a smile from u..
so that i could still overcome all this obstacle myself bravely.
my energy is gonna to be used up soon.
will u be here again? do u know that i still need u that much?

all the important ones.

JOHN. i put the plastic on his head, & he answered his phone like this.

stupid right? LOL

he doing somethings on his card. & he gave me all AC's (: he's good.

nite.

boliao. =/

im KO-ing soon.

upload pics now! (:

gonna change my blog song again.

another one that i think it suits my situation.

went k-box with ling&shiqi..

slept there. cause i dint slept for whole night.

then the server came i scolded her =/

shopped around. took neoprints.

& my mind was like .. ARGH.

actually dont feel like going to school tmr.

but then, i dont want to miss a day.

i have to go school so that i could see my friends.

no matter what, i'll still force myself to go.

because of u, u changed my life totally.

i wasent like this in the past. you should know.

i go just for a glance in morning and recess.

think i'll just sleep in class.

suddenly, i felt no intrest in my studies anymore.

& john and samul have been smoking for whole night.

samul offered one to me.

I DINT TAKE IT.

SEE, i wont touch CIGG. i swear.

the whole night they had been smoking.

& im just sitting there. passive smoker =/

& something came to my mind.

shall not post out. ask me if u wanto know.

trying so hard to get all this over.

yet i cant. im still trying to force myself.

for this one week, if still dosnt fade to the limit that i want.

i think i shall listen to some of my friends?

& i think im gonna cry myself to sleep tonight.

stupid john messaged me to ton again tonight -.-'

oh ya!

2 GOODY NEWS.

1- I FOUND MY IPOD .
2- I FOUND NOWELL GAVE ME DE RING.

its in my bag. STUPID ME. HOHOHO.

shall go and sleep. many things are flashing backk again):

- you made my life changed totally for u.

but im willing to change because that person is YOU.

even though you'll always bring me sadness to me everyday.

but still, i dont mind. cause i x3 you.

home! its 10.20am now.
went to find john & samul with ling.
i went because i wanto go mac with ongling.
and they are there. so i just went in to talk?
whoever wants to say that its flirt. so be it alright.
ling was like carring a bottle of nite. HOHO.
but im still so hyper! i drank whisky & night.
its been such a long time since i ever drink.
for this whole year, i dint touched at all.
or should be from last year.
now, nobody's gonna care. i dont have to care for whoever's feeling
old shirley is comming back? LOL
went there, only got john & samul.
pulled by them to play majong.
so, played. OMG! MAJONG. john's method of stacking majong
is so fucking same with him* .
& it makes me think of him once again.
i wanted to go and buy mac. end up calling delivery.
samul paid for the delivery fee.
and the person send to the wrong place.
played 21dot after that.
lose want nuckle hit nuckle. ):
i hit ongling, john, samul.
end up im the one who's hand was hurt. ):
they dont feel pain at all. WHAT THE FUCK.
and samul said i dint bathe. ling and john laughed.
he then said john bathe with water only.
and ongling bathe once a year.
& i said samul, you bathe with soap without water.
everybody laughed. they said i was a joker.
cause im like trying to make them stay hpyer for the night.
end up we played majong&poker ..
but john very good.
cause loser needs to be beat. like what i said just now.
samul hit damm bloody hard.
john was like, not hard and so is ongling.
THANKS THANKS. SAMUL IS EVIL LUHS.
ate mac delivery. ongling dint eat her hotcake.
end up john eating it. .
the plastic cover, i put it at john's mouth & he bite it ! LOL
blahs. talked. they went to lie on the stage.
me and ongling was like.. DUHH.
stupid john asked me to ton tonight again.
ohhnNO.. from thurs till now. i slept for less then 7 hours.
thurs was thanks to john and shanqian .
friday was on phone and awoke by mum.
sat was yesterday.. and now. =.-
NO ENERGY ALREADY. LOL
alright, shall go and bathe now.

- no matter where, things will appear &
its all gonna be related to YOU.

HOHO. im home.
im so hyper now. ongling with me now.
and john messaged me. told me he nearby my house.
ever since they met me. they had been telling me
im nearby your house.
ytd night, shanqian called.
morning i called backk.
they say cause they nearby my house.
now, john messaged, they asked whether they can come.
LOL. i dont think i can have a good sleep everynight anymore.
im abit tired. but im looking forward to 4am.
mac breakfast with ling! ((:
ohyah! i went to ATM machine happily today.
but i got so fucked up after that.
cause i cant withdraw money..
monday then can .. )):
SADDD LAAAHHHHHHS.
i lost my RING ):
i lost the ring that nowell gave me.
got so fucked up. went to find.. but cannot.
but also felt quite relieve.
cause the real important one is still with me.
if not i will really go CRAZY.
scolded shanshan today =X
i felt so SONG ! LOL
don helped me to make fun of her.
HOHOHO. cause winnie came.
& i saw my cousin(:
i upsize everything for them. LOL
yahs. i just still very fucked up.
cause of the ring, but also relieve ):
alright. i think shanqian & john comming soon.
i've to go now. BYE

- you'll forever stays.

woke up by my mum..
argh. woke up..went to see my phone.
shanqian- 2miss call
louis- 1message
xuan- 1message
replied xuan&louis..called backk shanqian.
shanqian was still sleeping.. lol..
then i said ask him call backk when he's awake..
so now.. im rotting..later go workk..
then go KTV.. so, will be home late..
im in a confusion..
my mind kept telling me to give up..
my heart kept telling me not to.
my friends says that its a sign.
i told my heart to give up..
my heart kept sayin. i still not wish to give up.
cried so badly.. & no fuckin use..
things will come and stop me from giving up.
dont think i should post now..
my mind is totally BLANK.
BYE

- if a song is to represent someone's feeling.
that all the song that i've posted in wherever.
its just simply represnt my feelings.
oh ya. listening to - when you're gone by AG. meaningful.

home from work.
its the 7th time i realise.
so many 7s.
pics, lazy to upload. cause im dead beat now.
because of shanqian ytd..
7 times of trying to give up.
& just so that time, there'll be something to stop me.
& these obstacle really makes me cant give up.
christa & nowell told me.
its a sign of something.
its fate. i have to love himm.
WHAT THE FUCK.
giving up on loving someone also so bloody diffcult.
shanqian went to superdog interview today! LOL
i was at school. ITE end early.
cause its exam today. so, im also looking forward.
reached school. NCC NCC NCC . lol
wanted to go canteen for some meeting bout NCC
me and chris went first.
ongling followed. & saw someone.
& once again, he stabbed me silently.
he's also going to canteen.
waited for so long. & then they told us they are at classroom.
-.-" so went to class.
while walking. shanqian called and told me.
ehh i go interview liao. but mananger told me wait for call
lol.. and its jiahui who interviewed him & john.
they told me that shanqian& john looked like bengs.
shanqian told me to put in good words.
& say that he's hardworking OMG lol.
he said he really needs this job.. lol.
went to classroom. PLAN PLAN PLAN.
went to find maam.
wanted to leave school, but before i could go.
someone was faster then me.
-.-" nvmm, waited for him and they to vanish.
waited for awhile.
christa shiqi jaya accompanyed me and samm to bustop.
samm is going home, im going work.
and hell man, they saw us i think?
alright, im not following them.. so, argh..
andy owed me CHOCOLATE .
but i bang his hand to the wall. ouch,
opps sorry andy! LOL but u deserve it. =/
per normal, dennis .... ahfang.. BLAHS ~~
& yahs, i nearly fell of from motobike today.
was sent home by friends,
due to my tired-ness, i fell asleep at moto.
as im not holding on to zalif.
i dint touched zalif. i hold on to the bike's side.
nearly, i would just fell off.
was very scared. but, im feeling kind of regret that i dint fell.
not pervet luhs. actually tonight go safari.
but dint luhs. i needa sleep.
my eyes are CLOSING now.
BYE(:

- why are there obstacle stopping me .
i wanto stop the love. yet so many things come
when i wanto stop. is it really a sign of something? argh.
- CONFUSED - should i still force.
cause i know now, i still wish to love u.

im suppose to be sleeping now.
yet im so awake..
shanqian called me at 12midnight.
dammit it. he wanted to lend money.
so, alright.. went down..
before i went down,
came to msn. saw pakheen & - =X -
pakheen asked me to help.
another asked me not.
i was so stunned. & its been so long since we last chatted.
we even talked on the phone.
at that point of time.
i wanted to cry out.. but yet,
shanqian & john is with me..
alright go back to themm.,
RAHHH. they asked me not to go home.
asked me to stay with themm,
they got off the cab. & they're hiding from police.
duhh. lol. so went to level 13. they smoked there.
-.-" they talked alot of crapz.
& i realise that im having fever ..
i've just recovered. now, again.
i think i really need to catch some sleep.
if not, i'll break down physically soon..
shanqian was tired. but john was hyper..
-.-" duhh, he wanto sleep. but cannot.
asked them go home.. they dont want.
i wanto go home.. cannot go ):
and suddenly i felt so awake..
and they wanto go downstairs cause its stuffy at staircase.
so, went to the block behind mine.
they took my R`s and keys away.
john wanted to act like throwing. but he failed.
i shouted at him for throwing my R.
lol.. lastly, i shout knncheebye..huanwo!
they both laugh. and shanqian said.
wahh, we come so long.
& this is the first time u said bad words..
shanqian was talking tell john things.
john dint wanto return me my R's and keys.
but his hp and wallet with me. HOHO
shanqian cannot take it.. he wants to go home and zzz.
no choice. THEY RETURNED ME EVERYTHING . (:
went up and took 20 gave them ..
and now, i cant sleep.
whole body was so hot.. cause im having fever again! argh.
shall go and rest on bed now..
- OH YA. people, please tagg if you read my blog please.
cause i realise that many people read my BLOG.
thats what shanqian told me just now.
NIGHTS.

- why issit when ever i wanto give up.
so many obstacle would be stopping me?
is it that you're going to be the one that i have to love?
or the love must stay on & not fade off.

HOME HOME HOME .
shall upload the pics later..
cause im uploading to my lappy.
dint have to work today.
means, i can blog more.
today we did facial. hahahha!
morning went to school with tears around my eyes.
dont ask me why.
dint really wants to turn at all.
i know today the chances of looking is much more abit
but i've think through with my tears.
i wanto give up. & now, im forcing myself to do so.
let natural take it's course. IMPOSSIBLE .
cause it will never fade.
so i'll use FORCE.. of cause not just lidat.
but by liking someone just to forget him.. its so stupid luhs.
& yahs. nowell told me to like andy. -.- LOL
i'll tell myself i dont love u everyday.
i'll try not to look at you.
its been 9months since i liked him.
as i said, it'll hit a year.
i wanto .. but, how am i gonna to live happily
by loving him like this everyday...
maybe FORCE-ING will fail.. but i dont care.
i failed to force myself ..
but i've told myself, i'll succeed this time.
but as for him, i'll put him in my heart.

a guy who had done so much for me.
a guy who had shed tears for me.
a guy who had gave up so many things for me.
a guy who is willing to give up something HE like most for me. (sportgame)
a guy who is willing to put his pride away for me.
a guy who had listen to me so much
a guy who really show me his love.
a guy who is will always be there when i need a shoulder.
a guy who always had to bear with my nonsense, my temper.
but lastly,
a guy who BROKE MY HEART RIGHT FROM THE BOTTOM.
& i've been tear-ing for him everyday.

but by knowing that he's happy..
i'll be too.
as for all the presents from him.
i'll keep it. its our memories. & it'll forever be.
he'll never know that i've been bring something
with me everyday. & i've been wearing it.
but i'll stil hide the thing away from everybody
that knows hhim. - i still love u -

PS - pics will be uploaded tmr i think.
cause i need to transfer 100 photos.
im tired. tmr i've to work..
ohh ya, ytd night i called and kajiao andy!
LOL. he's sleeping . & have been awake by ME. LOL
alright, i shall stop blogging. BYE(:

- the day when i had successfully forget u.
means it'll be the day i'll stop searching for u.
but, you'll always be a guy i'd love with my life.

WOSHH~
ITE course is nice.
BUT still, i fucking hate it. due to some reasons.
was like, cried at PS in the morning.
ongling was like busying askin me not to..
turn. ~ blahs ..
hopped on bus. and ZOOM.
saw many pple at corridor.. but not. . .
played with make up today.
shiqi helped me. and my make up was like SHIT
- blahs~~~ took many many photos luhs (:
shall upload tmr.. cause im KO-ing soon.
- FF -
reached school at 5.30 lidat.
* bloody stupid. why cant we reach school at 5pm!?
hope that there'd be a chance for a glance at 5.30. argh. *
having a high hope. and - * PRINK * gone.
saw cowen. talked. and left with sadness.
so no point idle-ing around school ..
went to toilet.. BLAHS..
went to work..
& the stupid andy who's supposed to work today.
dint turn up at all.
cause zhen ming lied to him that he dosent have to.
& im left being a server..
but ahfang stayed to help me. phew*
- FAST FORWARD -
closing time. ahfang did most of the job.
& i was like joking around with huijie, feebee, eleanor..
& i got my PAY today!
464.10 1ocent..lol. & i picked up 50cent today. LOL
feebee is so angry cause she got 499.90.
10cent more to $500. LOL
and before we left. same old thing. ANDY-ing.
and today. 3 couples luhs.
stupid mike said something that made me emo. -.-
walked to MRT with FB,HJ,Eleanor.. &
MRT was like ours. talked so LOUD.
okay okay. shall go and bathe now. BYE(:

- without you,
days passes slower then before.

today ): ): ):
morning, saw my class placed have moved.
i was like. duhh!? so near ...
nvm, settle down. was so emo at that time.
but i still did smile. & i bring laughter to friends too.
have to act as if im so alright.
cause im so right infront of him..
jaya gave me news paper.
i took the one with buger & champain.
i asked mr Teo whether he wants to eat.
shiqi ongling christa & jaya laughed at me.
though i was laughing too. but. argh.
went to ite. im lucky that i had a glance.
though it just last for 2secs. but at least. better then nothing.
ongling & shiqi pulled me away from PS. caause im looking at lvl 6.
cried in the bus. i dunno why.
i slept during the lesson! =X
im damm tired luhs.. so just zzzZzz..
teacher asked whether is lesson broing or so ever..
* blahs~~
mama nearly got into fights with other school.
but never.. * jump *
we took lots of photos. shall uploadd tmr or whatever.
- fast forward -

time to go backk. hop on bus. and KO
reached school around 5.35pm lidat.
saw his classmate. but not him luhs.
idle around the PS.. but still no sign of him.
nvmm, walked to gate slowly..
counted from 1 - 27.
& i just forced myself to get out of the school.
went to vivo with qi&ling.
ate. projects. WORK .
and when i went in.
huijie, dennis, ken said..
ohh. andy dint work today.
& whole day andy-ing again luhs.
- FAST FORFORWARD -

prepare to go HOME.
went to throw rubbish with nel & nowell.
was playing along the way.
nowell pushed me on the chart.
& so did i.. was sweating like hell. nel laughed at us.
went to take MRT with well, huijjie & zhenming.
he another 1.. promoting ANDY.
hey zhenming.! andy is your classmate! how can u do this!?
zhenming said so many things bout andy.
so is huijie. nowell good lahs. laughed only. -.-"
asked zhenming whether he wants to go night safari together.
he told me.
- : andy go i will go lor.
but i think andy go can alr.. need me mehs? *
i was like.. duhh, nvm. tmr watch out.
& everybody is looking forward to tmr.
cause me&andy server.
im looking forward to tmr. cause i want to see him*
NOT ANDY PLEASE. showed huijie his photo.
my heart aches alot when i saw his photo.
argh, fuck. i think its time for me to delete away the photos.
but the delete button seems so hard to press. . .
BYE need to KO i dint sleep at all last night ):

- I LOVE YOU
i wanted to shout long ago.
today, i finally shouted out.
the feeling that lives in me is killing me.

its 4.33am now.
i dint sleep the whole night.
& im awaiting for the time to reach.
gosh, im going to work for 1whole week.
promised eleanor to go work on thurs.
promised huijie i'll go on fri.
means mon-fri im going to be working luhs):
nvmm, going to night safari with them on fri.
HOHO. getting pay in 2days time((:
& i've already planned how to spent it.
BADBAD HABIT. but, argh
but i will still save the money up.
look at my stupid taggy. huijie flooded my taggy.
markhay tagged. go along covered up by huijie's taggy.
LOL. so emo-ish now.
was talking to eleanor and hujie just now.
and all went to zzz. & im like using my lappy nw.
and i heard sounds in my room. FREAKISH ):
& i realised something,
he's online the whole day.
the status is never idle at all.
omg, if really never sleep. how's he going to study tmr.
but maybe he's sleeping?
why should i be worrying. LOL
argh, fuck. 3more hours to go.
im like counting down? hahahahhaha
my heart had been aching for the whole night.
i really dont wish to go for the ITE course.
if there isnt this course. maybe i'll still skip school for a day.
but ITE. must go luhs.
hope that can go clementi ITE. so can find eleanor and jiamin. LOL
i dunno how to blog out the feeling thats` in me now.
but, sometimes i open his conver.
cause i really cant take it anymore.
but when i open, what can i do.
i can just close it away with tears dropping.
i wished that there would be a place for me
to dump all this feeling away.
but, it seems like there's no place for me to.
& i just have to keep it all to myself.
& i used work to get myself not think of him.
till i broke down physically. i still work.
yeahs, it may look stupid.
but seriously, i dunno what to do.
time will pass faster with work.
time passes slow when im alone.
i nearly cut myself again today.
but i dint, yeas. it STUPID to do so.
but, sometimes when a person is so down.
they can just do whatever thing thats so FUCKING STUPID.
they rather prefer physical pain then emotional hurt.
sometimes, when someone is down,
they can do something that's the most stupid thing on earth.
& its DIE.
tonight, i recalled so many memories.
the rabbit. beside me. so right beside.
the only one that i can pour my sorrows to?
cause i love the rabbit's owner.
all are kept in a box.
& it'll accompany me to overcome all the obstacle.
still believe that the promise he gave wil be fufill..
when its all just so impossible.
im looking at the sky. are you doing the same too?
-- edit. i've just re-sign in the msn.
& he's actually offline. is it my msn prob.? i think so.
what the fuck -.-

- i've got no chance to adapt the changes.
& why am i still awaiting for your return everyday.?

home.
i would be a cashier tmr(:
today im also a cashier too =D
but my voice?! NO VOICE ):
had a hard time talking to customer.
outside, there's nowell, dennis ahfang andy here and there.
stupid. go inside eat. huijie & xiumei andy-ing too -.-
heyhey, we are friends.
talked about rubbish thingy. accidentally said out
that i went to throw rubbish with andy ytd.
stupid fuck. all was like. horHOR HOR.
duhh. see, as long as there's something with andy.
they would start to . ! BLAHS ~~~~
actually i'd be leaving at 5pm. but was feeling better
& i went to be a cashier after that.
and i work till closing. cashier is better then server?
nowell wanted to learn barista`.
hahahahah. we're gonna to learn new things luhs.
very moody now.
cause of tmr. working at 7pm till 11pm. ):
so, i needa bring my clothes along.
and will just go work after the ITE thingy. ):
im going to be tired like hell.
argh, cannot see people luhs.
thats what makes me dosent want to go for the STUPID COURSE
in the past, i kept saying that im looking forward.
but now, i dosent even feel like going.
WHAT THE FUCK
nahhs. shall go and bathe and sleep.
im still sick. the feeling just sucks.
)):
* mei you ni de ri zi, wo bian de hao chui ruo.

- i needed you more than u need me.
thats what we've mixed up in the past.

no doctor ):
just went down to find doctor..but no doctor):
what fuck. this year is simply not for me luhs.
talked to shanqian just now.
he asked about me and him.* ~ blahs ...
tried to ask him come back study.
but dont think he would listen to me.
but i strongly believe that he wouldnt want to rot his
live away like this too. everybody does have a future.
& sumre he's going to vivo later. lol.
maybe will see him there.
kept listening to - yi qian bian wo ai ni -
meaningful. i cried afew times.
my throat hurts alot lahs! i cough, my heart will be pain.
physical pain luhs.
shall go to work now.. BYE.

- the pain is beyond the limit that im having.

pictures time(:
see the burger(: i wrap myself.

and the elephant.. he's super cute lahs.

today isnt a good day.

had a qurral with nowell today.

was feeling unwell, then she asked me go home.

i dint want. & she got angry. talked to her. she attitude me.

& so i gave back mine. she cried.

was so angry, but when see her cry.

just feel that the angry-ness in me is gone.

after less then a hour of black facing.

nowell came and said sorry?
lol.. we talk talk talk to each other.

& no more black face. (:

im soo HAPPY that dennis dint work today =D

so wont andy here and andy there.

okay.rubbish time.

andy asked me go and throw bags of rubbish with him.

okay. went with him..was joking on the way luhs..

clear the rubbish.. washed hands. and play water.

we was like damm bloody wet. so slack around the carpark.

he hop on to the trolley. and i was like pushing him around.

he took my hat away! what the hell.

nvm. but he's good today.

helped us with the server thingy. (:
but i kept reminding him bout his closing.

i know im bad. but.. HAHAHA =/

i got tips today! a girl asked me to help her buy food.

cause her leg is hurt. she cant walked.

and she insist on give me tip. $2 .

though is less. but, i just feel so happy lahs(:

at kitchen, i got bluffed by uncle lee.

* ask me if you want to know why *
too long to be post & im lazy too. =/

anyway, my whole mind is again not with me at all.

its just all so with him.

kept thinking bout him.. i dont know why.

talked to zhenren.. found out that she's a nice girl.

serious, in the past.. cause of many things i heard bout her.

which makes me thinks that she's not that nice.

but after talking to her ytd night.

i felt that she isnt that bad at all luhs.

sometimes, we people just judge people without knowing them.

so, my impression towards her totally changed. (:
& im thanking her for yesterday.

i dint know why i could tell her so many things.

maybe we are girls, and we've got similar case? LOL

i told her that if she needs a lending ear. she can come to me. =o

hahaha. but dont think she would need me luhs.

alight, shall go and bathe. tmr still gotta work.

not looking forward to tues at all.

but im looking forward to thurs! MY PAYYYYY =DD
HAHAHHAHA. i want my pay.

& i've got lotsa of things awaiting for me to come! =/

BYE(:

- iloveyou.

it wont change. its my promise to you.

oh hell, im DYING soon.
nearly faint at work today.
dawn & weilong came.
dawn touched my head.
* blahs ~~~
followed by ivan tay..
hahaha. was STUNNED to see ivan tay luhs.
he saw me first, till i served him.
his friends were smiling. & ivan tay suddenly turned.
i took afew seconds to know that its him.
& he laughed at me.. lol.
today, many werido costomer.
werido number 1 - * stir-r * whats this?
werido number2 - why the cheese never melt.
as in, no sense ah.. we never sell melted cheese.
werido number 3 - can we have a plastic bag to put my soccer ball
what the hell. stupid lahs. the cheese one.
dennis forced to me eat panadol.. ):
used coke.. hahahahha.
what a diffcult day today is.
time passes soo slow luhs. ):
never hit the sales target.. stupid boss . _/_
long post. lazy to post lahs.
dennis, the same.
dennis: why dont like andy. andy good lahs.
compare with him* 50 - 50 ahh!
andy also not bad right * singing *
me: -.-" WE ARE FREINDS
how many bloody times do you want me to repeat myself.
dennis: nvm de mahs. what if andy really like you?
me: impossible. no IF .. we are FRIENDS pure FRIENDS(:
dennis: nvm nvm, you'll see.
what the hell. tmr also working. i think i need my sleep.
cause im going to faint soon if i dont rest now.
BYE

- im filled with tons of work.
YET, just cant get you off.
do you know how hard had i tried ?

``
原来爱是种任性，
不该太多考虑。
爱没有聪不聪明，
只有愿不原意。
你还是选择爱他，
让他刺痛你的心。
但你不肯觉醒，
你说爱本来就是梦境。
跟你借的幸福，
我只能还你。
想留却不能，
才是最痛苦。
心碎的前一秒，
用劲心思的爱你，
守护这你。
用心碎送你，你却还不回头。