The course of true love never did run smooth.

If one rainfall can wash away those shadows and memories...

Met up w bestie, Alister, SBB and bro just now at tiong. I totally forgot about it.
Till bestie called me and i rushed t prepare everything and cabbed down.
Im the last one t reach afterall. LOL. So head t queensway shopp. and had my curry chicken.
As yummy as ever lah :D And idle around queensway for awhile..
Then bus-ed t bukit panjang and Alister went home t bathe and we went t SBB's house.
Watch cartoon and audi-ed awhile and fell asleep after that. lol. super tired lah. :(
and head t panjang plaza and had KFC for dinner and head t idk where t see them bball.
Cabbed home after that. And am having fever for god-sake. It's 38.1 now..
Feeling like idiotz but i just can't sleep at all now lah. EYES WIDE OPENED.
And it's freaking 3am now. Should i stay awake till like 8am t wish SBB goodluck?
Cos i said i will like so CONFIDENT just now lorz. =x But meeting hubby tomo ley!
Ah lao eh ah, very long never meet liao eh. Your backside glue-d at TB very long liao eh.
Watching devil beside you, again now. Super nice okay like seriously! =))
Alright, shall go and rest before i got no energy for tomo's E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!. lol.
P.S . DUI BU QI, ronron. Chor lor never forget you.! Seee, i blogged bout you ley! :D

Tags replies..

star: not $ drop from sky... she planted money tree secretyl ^^ :X
Me- eh, i dont like plants. LOL. i wished i had one too lah. :(
XuanWei: wow. near my hse ar. no tell me. i bring u all tour tour ard sk. ;D
Me- if we can, super busy ah! lol.
suyennnn:): lols... forgotten your audi username liao, can tell me one more time?
anyways you noe charmiane? she's my cousin:)
Me- haha. -SHIRLEY~ i think so. lol. erm, how old de?
kimmie: 000000 / eh..reply tags lei
Me- nah nah. replied! lol.
passerby: ...
Me- ?
nowell: si ah tan, what happen again? you not failure lor.
tan's family where got failure de. call me(:
Me- hahha! YEA! :D
liting: oi oi. simi taiji u! lol... dont think too much!
pls keep ur phone away when u smash things..lol..find me la.idiot u
Me- lol. i bo think too much lah. EH! you buy me new phone, i dont throw :)
minghua: wah lan cheer up lei ... dun so freaking emo
Me- STUPID GAB. mai act yi ge cute lorz. XIAO MING. lol!
SHU: SHIRLEY TAN! WHY YOU NEVER CAONTACT ME ONEZ! < / 3
Me- HAO HAOOOO. contact you soon kay! :D x3333
passerby: cheerup! :D
Me- thanks! :D

Had a talk w hubby today :) And maybe a small tiff w SBB. Not LBB already. ha.
And wento help mom's friend t do mani & pedicure. Super tired now.
So shall go and play my kungfu pet liaoz. BYEEE :D

What am I supposed to do? Im very confused.
And at the same time, im afraid to fall, like how I used to ...

Why should I hide my real self. Really tired of being what other wants.
Perhaps I'm used to it for doing so... After all, it's been like this for 3 years...

Sometimes, i just dint mean so, but i just couldn't control.

Sometimes, i tried hard to get perfections, but its seems too far for me..

sometimes, i tried to be what you wants me to be, but i ran out of energy..

Sometimes, i tried to hide those tears behind my smile, but it's beyond my control...

I've been trying real hard all these while, but obstacles are too difficult for me.

Maybe because im so used to these, therefore i can still be even i can't...

I find nowhere to the key of happiness... Neither do i know how to be happy anymore..

Maybe lil things can make a person smile for very long...

But i dont think i can be like the past anymore...

Today's incident.

LBB, kneel on the road ley. Cos he lost the bet. HOHO! :D

Our fingernails :) mine nicer hor! =x

Done by me. =x sorry

Yew Keng Day.

My * BO XIN * in hokkien. haha. kue pek have, we also have hor! haha. but thanks t sister that broke it. :(

So im not that lazy t upload photos and those photos are Yew Keng that day de. Only very few.

Cos i dint have time t take photos :( But nevermind. We all had fun jiu dui le. :D

Today, stupid LBB came down Tiong becos i dint eat. So rushed down t tiong and meet up w him.

And met up w nowell after that and head t redhill market. Stupid thing is my dad dint open his stall.

He off till thurs, means i cant have extra cash on hand already. But nevermind.

So accompanied bestie t doctor and me and LBB was outside doing stunn. LOL. Super LOL lorz.

Horz, LBB. Then we go play those $1 machine and i got the same toy w LBB. PIANG EH.

Then i ate leaf lorz. nnb. LOL. Then head t tiong t NTUC and get ham leyy! SO long since i last ate.

And got myself Famous Amos cookie :D Super addict liaoz after kim jiejie gave me. hehe. =x

So walked home after that and realised that LBB actually stuffed $20 in my NTUC bag lorz.

But then thanks alot too. :) XIE XIE NI LAH, LBB! hahahahaha! :D

Listen t this song, super nice and meaningful. Im super addict t this song. :D " 明天以後 "

明天以後 (泳兒合唱)林峰

泳：在你的记忆里面有一个我

在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过

难过过了天晴朗了我就走

峰：你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦

在你的面前我不必保留

还来不及对你说迟到的我的心动

泳：你的好你的坏

峰：我的脾气你最懂

泳：我不要你来心疼我

峰：我不要你离开我

合：明天的以后我们会懂

失恋的挫折让人变更成熟

泳：我对你感觉胜过爱情

峰：因为有你给我勇气

给我用不完的运气其实也想好好爱你

泳：只怕到最后不小心让你伤心

峰：我不怕会伤心

合：对不起我对你

再好再亲密都不能在一起

峰：最后看你在别人怀里

泳：有天我会找到我的唯一

峰：我并不是你的唯一

合：还微笑祝福你

峰：你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦

在你的面前我不必保留

泳：我从来没对你说压抑的我的心动

峰：我的好我的坏我的脾气你最懂

泳：我不要你来心疼我

合：明天的以后我们会懂

失恋的挫折让人变更成熟

Repeat #

泳：爱情总让人折磨

峰：所以我们才选择

合：做比情人更好的朋友

Repeat #

I wanted to hold on to you, but im afraid to fall, again. Very afraid..

I wanted to hold you, but i find you nowhere near...

i really dont know if i've made the right choice, but i know i wont regret.

Like feeling shitz, seriously. knnbccb.

i dont know how t explain either, but i just hate the feeling.

super pek chek and feel like smashing everything that's in my way.

NAHBEY.

Im home-d and feeling very not good at all.
Went t sis's uncle's funeral and pub after that.. Everyone drank alot like seriously.
LBB, LJ, and G tried smoking, like wtf? super stunned lorz. lol.
And wasnt feeling very well too, idk why suddenly i got headache. like so nb.
i dint drink alot either.. But nvm. Just feeling like shitz after that cos of somethings.
Cabb-ed home and idk why, am feeling like idk how t explain either.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. idk lah. BYE.

Starting from Sat, met LBB for mac breakfast. Then went for majong session :)
Head t tua after that and head t ahD's house. But somethings happened and then...
settled everything and head t teban and overnight there. Im really a failure...
After so many thoughts.. I guess im really dumb, stupid, useless or whatever...
So yew keng on Sun.. they told me they had hard time waking me up..
Cos Damien, Shawn, Sister ( Yu Rong ) lol. also overnight at teban.
So yea. Jumped Sun wu kong ytd.. Super tiring cos he's super fast and we are running
after him becos he is way too fast liao eh.. So everything ends around 11 plus and home-d.
Super bored and im going t bathe now and go out liaooooz. BYEBYEEE :D

Lalala.. I just reached home not long ago from tua. YAY-NESS, we chu tua today! :D
So long since i last chu tua liao eh. Cos of some reasons...
So yeap, head t teban which is me that is fking stupid... Choy came and fetch me w da jiu.
So head t taman and set off from there. We went seng kang near xuanwei's house! ha.
And we sat on the lorry on the EXPRESS WAY for 1 hour, just the express way horz! lol.
So did the things and went t lim chu kang cemetery t do everything and head back t taman.
Home sweet home after everything ends :)
And bathe-d and on the phone w LOUSY NG :D Gonna have mac w him tomo. :)
Yeah, calling him boi boi from now. LOUSY boi boi! :D
Nights everyoneee. BYEEEe

Ah boy korkor AKA robber.

SIBEI LOL at that time lorz. ha

And kor threw this down when we were MAJONG-ing. haha!

And thanks LOUSY NG AKA SHAWN BOI :)

Chef Chong. LOL

Sick boi, trying t act cute lorz. REST MORE LAH!

Cute pose horz! haha!

Damien, super random, he walked t my door and talk t my dog and holding on a handphone.

Done w those photos, there're more, but im lazy.. Next time, or go t fb! :D

So day 1: we reached around 7pm and choy start t make fire for BBQ.

went IMM de giant w 3 sisters :) Had REAL LOTS of fun lah.. Super lots :)

And BBQ. Stayed and Shawn stayed too despite that he's sick lorz. Piang eh.

Thanks alottttttt for staying ah. If not i'd be bored like idiot. Cos cant majong. :(

And yea. Did some stupid stuffs like i've never did before in my life.

Making my precious hand dirty lah! LOL. But hai hao lah. :) And then realised S is

having fever. And i wanted t take water for him, but no water. And i boiled water eh!

I never ever done so at home at all too. Soooo, i tried opening that boiler for freaking 5mins.

How dumb am i, i then really realised. So pei shawn stay outside the chalet cos he's so cold.

And he got better after that :) We packed those BBQ stuffs too. First time in my life like...

Though i did grumble for sure for packing, but then, i cannot throw shawn alone too lah.

I NOT THAT BAD YET. I grumble real lot when packing. Cos is FIRST TIME lorz. =.-

So yea, choy came back and i forgot liao~ ~ ~

Day 2: Alister, Rong, kor and me BBQ outside, but i was sitting down waiting for food..

then then then, choy went in and watch them majong... So left me and rong BBQ...

Jie all came out and was hungry for food already. So BBQ for them lah. OMG.. ha

I siao dao my hand lorz. SIBEI PAIN I TELL YOU. But no choice.. Nobody wants t BBQ.

So yea.. Alsiter came and helped us and i went t watch tv after that. =x

But suddenly, daniel wants t eat so many things and asked me go BBQ in. -.-

So i went t BBQ, again. And finally i can rest, ahboy kor came back t chalet.

And everyone was already inside playing or rather start gambling.. And choy asked me

t go and help ahboy t BBQ, again. LOLz. And then FINALLY I CAN REST LORZ.

Played the animal gambling thang. Super fun. I bet only like 10 - 20 cent at first.

I keep on winning lorz! :D Then up t 50cents. I won like 3dollars and super happy lah! :D

They kept on laughing at me for god-sake. so played tarots ( pardon if wrong spelling ) cards.

Super JUN i tell you. piang eh, be it love life, past and present. ALL SO JUN LAH!

And Majong-ed. I keep zi muo ley! SUPER HAPPY OKAY! :D And home-d.

Reahed home and saw my MSN.. Saw the face that Shawn drew. Thanksss alot! :)

Plus, sick need t have people take care, so no need t thanks de. :)

And wo bu shi, AUNTIE SHIRLEY horz. UPDATE more lah you :) hahaha!

Super tired now. Going t AhD's house and stay later... Super packed this week.

But im lovin' it! :D ~~NIGHTS~~ MORNING people!

As well as,

SHENG RI KUAI LE, GRACE AH JIE! :D

Met Kor, Shawn and Lin Jing today t get Grace's jie bday today...
So kor left first and so me, shawn and lin jing continue t search for present ...
Had a break at CsJunior and home-d. Found out lots of things like so suddenly...
And chalet chalet chalet liaoooo~ :)

I realised that i might have been trusting the wrong person all these while.. I dint know all along..
Becos i gave all my trust down.. And it hurts me so much when ___ analyse t me what's going on..
Maybe it's time for me t trust noone else anymore, but myself.. Sometimes, having friends doesnt mean,
doesnt mean they will or must be true to you, no matter how close you are ...
I might still choose t believe you, till the day everythings' spilled out... Im feeling very disappointed...
Im really, becos you're someone that i really trusted so much all along...

Just came home from ' jiu tang lin ', pub. Friday catch ghost leyy. Nb. Girls cannot go i think.
Otherwise i can see liao eh :( Wed Chalet but heard that there's the dk what thing lorz.
Drink quite abit just now becos all thanks t Damien lorz. But thenn, still thank you lah.
Cos behind behind he gave me coke ley! :D SUPER MISS MY COKE. :D
So played games and listen t music... Super sian now cos im waiting for the kungfu pet. lol.
And also on the phone w LOUSY NG ley! Okay lah. he good lah.
cos he played photo hunt w me at pub just now. hehe! :D But he super lousy lorz!
I wanna change blogskin, i wonder how's hubby w my blogskin liao... She's at CCK lorz! OMG!
Plus i wanna go rest cos im feeling very bloated. Might be going t buy present tomo..
With shawn and lin jing leyy. Super broke now but yet... Sighh.. I need t work soon...
Ahhhh! shall go off liaooo. ~ byeeee! :D

Me and Winnie at Cine..

When they are practising their MUI THAI. ( idk how t spell, pardon me )

Alister's bday ..

End of Alister's bday photos..

Jerlyn jie jie! :D ( at PUB )

Kim ah jie's bday! :D

Grace ah jie! Bday coming liao ehhh~ :D

MSN w Shawn, all these he and we drew :)

I forgot what i promised him, and we DA GOU GOU. cute right! :D

The pictures did lots of talking(s) already right? :) yeap, so today went t watch them practice MUI THAI, pardon for the wrong spelling. FInally im not lazy already.. Might be going t cut hair tomo. I dont know if i should or not ahhh! Super energetic now.. Just removed all my nail polish just now.. And feel so weird lahh! :( i wanna do mani right now! =x Plus plus i wanna dye my hair! Should I ? I dont knowww! :(

Alright, shall go and rest now.. Nights peopleeee~ :D

Tags replies:

SHU: got problems can call me talk talk ok? =)) must be clear of your goals!
SHU: cannot! must study! be good ok? i'll help you if i can!

Me- Thanks alot ! :D
passeby: your profile wrong , She is so fickle minded girl

WHO cant decide what she wants, NOT WHICH.

Me- ha, thanks.. :)
no name: haiz...
Me- Why haiz?
ronron: my radio is singing to me now! LOLS!

Me- Shhhh! cannot say out ! haha!
passerby: cheer up!

Me- thanks alot! :D
hakim: EH! HE. EH!

Me- what lah! DONT ACT CUTE! lol.
suyennnn to s only: LOLS!:D okayys!

Me- :)
kimmie: _!_ is KIMBERLY

kimmie: miss u la. bytch.! wake up!

Me- KNN, typo! HAHAHA! :D

Alright, went t bugis yesterday t pray. Was actually going on Friday..
And Shawn went w me if not i'd be going alone. So thank youuu :) So yea..
Met up w him at topman and he bought honey GREEN TEA plus donut :)
I tried t drink green tea, but... Yah. Had lunch and we cab-ed t teban liaoz...
Waited for the rest and ahboy before we go up t taman. So prepare t start tua..
And went back t teban after everything ends.. So stucked there becos we dk where t go..
HAHA! Then then we ended up eating mac and finding red house.
But then no luck at all lah. So home-d around 5plus am.
Eh, Shawn, i'll never wish you sweetdreams and that's for sure! :D Im evil, y'should know.
HAHA! so yea. And noww. i need t bathe and go up t teban t see mui thai :D
idk if spelling is correct lah.. But im very lazy now.. :(
Shall upload all pics tonight :) * idk if i will become lazy again. * BYEE :D

i really dont know what i want suddenly. I lost motivation for my studies suddenly.
I feel like giving up every single bit of things now. But yet, ...
Im really tired of running on this track, alone.. Facing all these obstacles..
Those terrible feeling that i dont know how t explain... But.. I know im running out of energy.
I just wish t run away from all these, but i cant. Sigh.
What's getting over me, i really dont know. But i know i need t stay strong.. Even though i cant.

HAPPY BDAY TO ALISTER MOK! :D
Wish you good luck tomo at pub. haha! :D 18 liao eh. old le! LOL =x

Met bestie then choy and shawn. Bus-ed t queensway shop. and had curry chicken! :D
Yummy as ever! :D then head t anchopoint t buy Alister's present.
And head t tiong t fetch Lin Jing and came over t my house. Did the stuffs and bused over
t bukit panjang t meet up w damien, YuRong, Yongsheng and idk who liao.. lol.
Waited for Alister for quite long laaaaa. Mood wasnt good as well. Sorry t shawn as well. :(
But you wont mind cos we're good brothers! :D HAHA~
Tomo going t temple, myself. omg. Am feeling better then yesterday real lot lah. :x
Might be over t batok tomo. Stomach is killing me. But i'll die if i dont drink cold stuffs. ha!
Alright. Shall go and rest now. NIGHTS NIGHTS! :D

Im as good as dead now. Cos i vomited countless of time and am having fever now.
I finally can crawl out of my bed t MSN awhile. And i vomited everything i ate. =S
And the main thing is,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMERLY TAN! IDIOT~

Short Post today will do. Cos im dying soon.
Met the usuals today and we sat at star bucks for 2 hours plus. haha
Then head t meet bestie for dinner and home-d. Audi w Shawn and my cramp is killing.
Tomo will be worst cos is the second day.. I will roll on floor like fuck.
Feel like vomitting now. WTF. its really very xinku. :( And I CAN'T WAIT FOR THURS.
SHAWN, YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY EH! XD
Shall go and sleep now .. BYE...

Alright. Let's start from yesterday! :)
Met Ah choy, Damien, Shawn, Alister, Ye Rong, Lin Jing yesterday..
Changed 3 times for lunch. And end up eating at kopitiam. LOL! XD Nowell came after that.
Then walked around Vivo and then head t Bugis. We alight at little India ..
Wow place lorz. I was stucked when passing.. And I think Damien came and helped.
Thanks alot! That's my Tai Yin Dian Family! :D Then walked around sim lim square..
Then Alister pei me go take taxi at taxi stand :) Thanks as well :)
Though you always point me your idiot middle finger. =x Ahahhaha.
Then cab-ed t Batok after that when im home-d. And then todayyy...
At batok till 9pm and rushed home.. MSN w Lennard and Shawn. Audi w Shawn..
Your skill is still not there yet lah! lol. But xie xie ni okay! :) And he pei me talk as well.
Then wento find my mom and walked walked around. Then Shawn pei me talk all the way..
Thanks alot ah! :) Must you li mao okay! =x Nightmare give you ah! =x
So yea.. walked home after that. Feeling abit down now. i dont know why. Sigh.

Tags Replies.
hakim: ahhhhhh tmr how
Me- psps! :(
SHU: i update le, mai gong bo! XD
Me- i go read le! :D
Shawn.: HELLO, i will beat you in audition de. Someday D:<
Me- HAHA! Wait till you can beat me then say! Practice more! :) Just call me! :D
suyennnn to s only: ohya,,,, play AUDI!? meee TOOOOO!
Me- yeap. I play audi de. :)

Shall blog alil before i go out. Meeting Ahchoy, shawn, damien and idk who later ..
Getting my newurbanmale slippers later. Was actually going t see cosplay w them..
But its at pasir ris and all change t vivo and pei me go buy slippers :)
So yea. Went Tua yesterday. Met Aloy before that. Then cook my mee sua ley.
Kuebei say it's nice! :D Then had a small tiff w bestie. Sorry. i dint mean so.
y'know i'll be worry. But also showing my concern in another manner. :)
Then went pub w the rest. Play numbers:) And watch them practise thai boxing.
SIBEI NICE AH TELL YOU ALL! :D Damien and Shawn SUPER fierce. Alister got tattoo!
Now then i know lah. Feel abit slow. =x nevermind. Drink a lil only this time. :)
And cabbed home around 6am. And im feeling abit tired now lah.
Ohyah, thanks so much t shawn :) Cos he made me 5 cups of RI BI NA! HAHA!
Im so lazy t go and make myself. And he's the one who helped me all the way! XIE XIE HOR.
Dont say i wang en fu yi lah. LOL. idiot bo tag me! ahahah.
Feeling abit shag now lah. But i got to go now already! :( BYEEEEE :D

Im so tired of faking that im alright.
Im so tired of pretending that everything's fine w me.
Im so tired of accepting facts that hurts me so much.
Im so tired of being someone that you wants me to be.
Im so tired of smiling to everyone when i can't.
Im so tired of remembering those hurtful past.
Im so tired of every single thing...
Very very tired...

I dont know if im back to that Shirley. But i know i really needs t move on.
I dont wanna stay at the same place where i once fell.
I've been stopping at this same place for the 800th days. It's been so long..
Yet im still counting the days... How time flies.. It's been 800th days since then...
And i've miss-ed you for the 800th days, today...
I know i'll let go. Becos i know i'll stay strong as ever... I'll pull myself up. No matter what..

Tags Reply.

kimmie: thanks for that day~ u're seriously my bytch la
ME - haha! NOPE at all lah! DEFINITELY ONE! :D
passerby: omg..ur ex de shawn??
ME - nope? It's another one with same name? lol.
hakim: tag u again la! where aloy!? hahhaa!
ME - eh. me and aloy are friends.

I lost motivation for blogging already. i think so. haha!
Wento study at SP w jonathan ahkor and shushu! :) But i was sleeping as usual.
I never never fail t fall asleep when books are infront of me. i really dont know why.
So met bestie and study w her. Then home-d. Chatted w Shawn on MSN. So noisy!
Hahaha, hor hor MR NG. =/ ahaha. You idiot! Drew pig and ghost. Super cute.
Shall upload the pics soon :) Then going t SP again later at night w ________.
And im lazy t blog already.. Byeeebyeeee.

Thanks so much especially to Shawn Ng Jun Hwee AKA Shawn boi, cause ahchoy to attitude you cos he's sleeping & Damien Ng i-d-k AKA big noodle. And also, Jonathan ah kor2, ahboy kor2, bestie, winnie, hubby, hwee min jie2, grace jie2 the whole Tai Yin Dian. It's just another family of mine :) I really appreciate all. Though i dont know how t really express it out but deep in my heart, im really happy. :) Im really very blissed t be in Tai Yin Dian(: My big big family! :D
TAI YIN DIAN, We HUAT AH!

Mom, i dont wanna lose you..

Went Tua and i really can't smile. I broke down into tears at Tua for the first time.
Seriously sucks this feeling. I dont wanto lose my only beloved precious. I cant afford to.
Thanks so much t Damien, Yi Rong, Ah chow, Shawn, Gabriel, Alester. Esp Damien.
I was crying hard alone at the very dark place and Damien came. Thanks so much.
Though im not very very close w you guys but thanks for surrounding me just t make me smile after the incident. :) Im strong shirley! :D And also Shawn for walking all the way..
All the way t help me get taxi eh. Hahah. :) Got to be real busy soon... For this week.
Ahd, where are you? You seems t go MIA liao eh..

WHATTHEFUCKFOREVERYTHINGNOW. NINABEYCB.

KIM AH JIE! SHENG RI KUAI LE!

If im not wrong, it's your bday today. Hahaha. It's been 3 years since im in Tai Yin Dian.
And it means that i've know you for 3 years plus. :)

Thanks for the care and concern from you all these while.

Be it whether i go home or staying outside. Finding jobs for me.

And always never fail t make me laugh like mad at tua.

With you around, i NEVER fails t get bored. hahha!

I know you always dote me alot. Even though we may just meet once a week.

But y'know, im really happy to know you as my sis! :D Really.

Though i may not be able t get you those expensive presents like others did.

But hope that you wont mind alright? Wait till next time i really come out and work,

I'll get you something better then this present de hao ma?
Dont xian qi this one. :S hahahha!

But afterall, jiejie, xie xie ni! :D WO AI NI! HAHAH! * blush *

Did some shopping and spent money. Very so much better after being able t spent money.
Spending money t vent anger plus making myself feel better.
So yea. Today, i met nowell, winnie and don. Waited for them at old place.
But this time round, i smile when i saw the same old route. with memories flashing back..
It's been how long since i really look back at that route but this time round, alone.
And mant thoughts came through my mind and so... But i smile, though it hurts a'lil.
And after that we headed t bugis. Bought notebook like finally.. Another new one liao eh..
Ha.. then headed t Redhill. Saw my ATM machine and went over and take moneyyy! :D
Saw lennard while im searhing for food. :D Yea. He's really a bad brother. Im so lucky.
So so lucky that im not his family members. Especially his sister. LOL!
So ate and head t have my sharks fin for my dinner! :D Lennard called and i bugged him! :D
Bugged him t audi w me when i reached home! hahaha! he cannot neopets liao! XD
So yea. I walked home all the way from bestie's house at freaking 4am plus.
Damn wulu. But i dont feel like taking cab. How good girl am i alright! :D
So yea. Audi w Lennard and idk his name. Lennard pei me talk when i walked home :D
AHD, i dint mean t MIA you. I messaged you, but you never reply me liao eh.
DUI BU QI >..< Reply me asap kayy. :) Dont worry! :D
And yeap. Idk if i should sleep or watch DVD lah. Omg. It's already 6.17AM now. :(
Eh ehhhhh, LAL, I MISS YOUUUUUUUUU! Where are you? HA! :(

Tags Replied :)

suyennnn: hahaha shirley wata you toking about?
ahhaah.... you no school todayy?
Me --- Nothing:) Nope,no school :)
kimmie: haha..u alw eat snake ..see how u eat again! hahahah
I SO BIG SIZE. though i s FAR only hor! call you why no pick up!! ROAR AT U!
Me --- Okayyyyyyy! CANNOT EAT ALSO WONT DIE! :D called you back le! :D
guest: you look sweet and cute!
Me--- thanks but im not :)
liting: i miss you alot!!
Me --- ME TOOOO! :( Meet up soon!
nowell: no one there, that means i not human is it? LOL!
Me --- yeap! you're! haha!
Eunice: don't think so much okay? me is only a phone distance away~
Me --- okay! :D And also like 2 - 3 bustops away lorz! :(
nobody: cheer up..u oready been thru so many ordi..tis is jus another 1..jyjy!!
Me --- thanks! Yeap, i'll jyjy de! :D
ronron: dont sad ! ronron here hor. tats not like my radio! =x
Me --- Radio needs a break eh but, radio is fixed! :D

Was out the whole night and reached home around 9plus in the morning.
Dint bring my phone out cos i dont wish t contact anyone. So yah. Sorry t those who
messaged and missed call me. I need t be really really quiet and think of things.
And i know i'll reply and pick up calls if i were t bring out my phone.

I still got no idea why i've chosen this path for myself. Though i dint regret at all.
Becos i know i can't afford t carry anymore regrets w me already.
And i know myself well that i've chosen this path myself after long thinking'.
Though at times i may break down and burst out into tears so much more in this path..
And i also know that this path, i don't have that firm shoulder t tell me everythings'
gonna be alright after crying. Though it's tougher then before. And i gotta stay real strong.
Maybe im used t hide everything away. But i dont wish t run away. Becos it'll still come back.
This time, i can't hide those emotions well. Not as well as before already..
I may just tear down right in front of someone, but im trying hard t hide and not so...
It seems so much more difficult then before. But im still trying hard t stay strong.
No matter what. Everything came and hit me at this point of time and i see nobody around.
Especially those who i really need. Where are you? Not with me, definitely.
What a day for me the day before yesterday. And what's gonna happen on next tues?
Im so afraid of 7July suddenly, again. But it's just like a curse, following me around ...
And i have t be strong. I can't fall at all. And i cant afford t fall as well. Why?
And there isn't someone here to share this burden w me or carry for me anymore..
I can't just put down everything and run away from here. I have t carry all these w me.
Why is it me? But it's okay. Cos i know outside there, there'll someone who is same
as me for this situation, or even worst then me and still keeping strong..
Thats the the positive way to keep me going, as well as what _____ had told me...

I finally saw somethings' with my own eyes. I can't believe that i actually could take this blow.
Or perhaps, i've already prepared mentally for this day to come. i don't know either.
It hurts so much when i talked to her. It hurts so much when i asked you to messaged her...
Yet, i still have to smile all the way even though i can't. But i still have to force that smile.
And this time round, i've used so much more energy to do so to cover up the tears.
I find nowhere to hide and cry. I find nowhere for a shoulder. Especially from someone i love.
And yet, im accepting the fact and still smiling to face it. That was worst than torturing...
It's just like slitting my heart, slowly and bit by bit. And worst still, i still have to smile.
And i know im stronger each time round, not weaker.. no...