The course of true love never did run smooth.

Tags replies.
star: dun half half again hor =.= lyk wad u say u hav wasted ur 2009 for goodness ****.. TIME TO WORK AND EARN FOR URSELF!!!!! ok? dun 3 mins again.. =.= u can go marina square catch toy there.. 1.8k
ME: hahaha, try try. lazy go till so far lahs. lol.
sumei: hi babe!
ME: helloooo~ Meet up soon kayy(:
reader: be happy oways..u oways say u are strong..so don be sad animore!
ME: thanks alot. im not that sad anymore! ("
popping by: dont sad (: tot idk you .. cheer up ^^
ME: thanks alot! ")
kk: wahaha.
ME: who you? and what are you laughing at? LOL?

Lazy and super no mood t blog bout anything at all for these few days. I dont know why either..
Wento help out at my dad's stall yesterday t earn extra income cos he dont wanna give me money.
What a nb father. lol. so yah. Worked till 6pm and went t PY for a talk and panjang w usuals.
And head home, was sick today so dint went down t help him. But end up got tua. Zok kei.
so MRT-ed down t lakeside and met up w alister, marcus and gab. (: Bus-ed t tua after that.
Waited for everyone t reach and went gombak zo kei (: I shouted at ah pek too loud when greeting.
And he got someone t ask me over. Had stupid laughters w ahpek and he gave me foods. wakakas.
So after zo kei jiu come lan. Met up w jie at mac and walked over. Meet up w Jeremy idiot.
Chatted awhile and we came over t lan, audi-ed awhile and having my cramp like idiot now. ):
And DD dont worry. Im always here. (: No matter what happen t you in your family. Still got me! :D
This Tan ah Tan here de horz. (: Promise t be here whenever you need me! :)

Went hospital t visit DD's mom. She's messaged me suddenly and gave me a shock. LOL. So yah.
Went t visit her at A.hospital and while waiting for DD t come. Went t buy mac for his mom alone. ):
Wakakas. Then chatted w her and so and finally DD came("
Then he pei me home and stay overnight too. And he went t visit his mom after that and i head for interview.
Starting work on the 16th nov already ley. Sibei sian lorz. I need money for my phone :(
I need money for my mom's bday present and dinner. Nb. everything needs money.
Found out that i've really wasted my whole year 2009 like one idiot doing nothing at all.
Nway, am feeling real tired now plus eyes dying on me soon. But am going out later again ..

I thought alot after you left. What's the taste of happiness, i really dont know anymore.
I used t have it by my side all along, but now, i guessed i've forgotten the taste of happiness already.

Had a enjoyable day today like seriously. :) Went vivo w B.di today(: Had lunch at dian xiao er. :)
Walked around and slacked around my house and he went home after that. (:
Thanks for pei-ing me today. You're a v nice friend of mine! :D Coughed like one idiot just now. ):
I wanna get new phone for f sake. My this phone is very sot already lah. nb :(
Mommy dont wanna get for me. ): I needa save up money and buy myself now. wtf.
I seriously dont know how more before i can buy N95. wtf wtf.
How i wished i can pick up one N95 on the floor later when i go out. :( wakakas.

Went over t DD's house just now. Bought him his favourite porridge before i went over t his house.
Idk why, i have the urge t cry when the moment i saw him.. A very strong urge.
Just sat there like a idiot thinking of lots of things.. So many things running through my mind.
Idk why, everything seems so hurtful just now at that moment. I guess, not only you.
I myself have yet settle down my emotions as well. Im sorry if I just left like that.
Cos i know i cant hold back my tears any longer. I just dont wish t always cry infront of you.
Sometimes, it's better t suffer alone then dragging someone you love down w you..

All those photos are JTL. :) LinJing was drunk like one dead pussy~ =x wakakakas~

Had fun w all those laughters.. Since after how long i really can laugh happily. :c

Nway, met up w them for steamboat before heading t pub. Yummy i should say. FULL~ :D

Then walked around before deciding where t go. And then, pub.

Wanted t try out at other pub but yet, we still ended up at Jiu Tang Lin. LOL~

Sooo yeah. And today. Slept all the way till like 5 plus and saw their missed call(s).

And they have actually reached tua already and im still sleeping. =x

So rushed down t get money from my dad and voom down t taman. Saw Cheng Yang otw. :)

Wahaha, tua ended early. So have usual fun again before heading home~ XD.

I dont know why. I've already know all the truth but why does it hurt so much when ... ... ...
I tried not t cry, but i failed again. But yet this time, you aint here.. Nevertheless, i will get used.
Im lost, very lost for anything now.. I miss you alot suddenly.. I wished you were just right beside me.
Just like how you hugged me to sleep. (:

Whenholdingonisakindoftorture, iratherletyougoandsufferalone, cosiknowyouwonthaveanyaffection.

Sometimes, i thought as long as i hang on tightly, hold on tightly, things might change better.

But i guess i was too stupid t believe so. Cos you're still the same afterall.. After months..

You could actually get angry w me when i said those things stuffs. I tried t lie t myself and believe.

But all those facts and all these feeling(s) wont leave me alone at all. Y'know.

It's hard t deal w all these things. But yet im facing it all alone.. I guessed, i've grew stronger..

I know myself that i've fallen into this hole again.. I tried t lie t myself that im not.

But i know it better then anyone else that I've actually done so.
I know it's gonna be a wrong move for me, or another history for me again.

I know all these while, i've been blinded by all your lies.
And i really dont know why am i able t close two eyes and let it go.

I can' bear t let you go.. I dont wish t share, but it's not for me t say at all.

I just hope t hear the truth from you.. I dont know why, i can't keep t myself.

Or just pretend that i dont know anything. I dont mind knowing the truth.

Cos you should know me well. I rather you tell me then keeping me in the dark.

Just like a clown, a big big fool. I've knew it all along.
But im going t burst soon. All things are coming in my way non-stop.

I know you've been here for me, at times when i need you. But ...

You just dont know those pain inside me at all. Is hurtful.. More then you could..

More then you could imagine.. But im not able t share w you. Not that i dont want.

Do you even understand how am i feeling when i've found out and have t keep quiet?

Seriously, i rather you tell me then lie t me. Y'should know it well too.

If you said you know me well, then what are all these shitz. ?

I've been keeping this t myself long enough, w those pain. Plus,

i really wanna get the answer from you, right from you. Even though..

Even though is not the results i wished t hear.. But im mentally prepared...
Even if i were t fall, i guess im used t falling already.. I really wished t know when is true, when is it not.. i mean, you.

I want t smile from the bottom of the heart, not all these fake smiles, but can I?

Just can't get anything right into my head at all. I miss those past alot now suddenly..
Till to the extend that i can't explain them into words. Nobody understands this feeling now.
I cried again like one small baby, or even worst that that just now.. Like one idiotz, sitting at a corner..
At a corner of my room, everything flashed back slowly, w those torturing(s)... Those scars..
Just so sucky and yet nothing for me t vent my anger at all. I really wished to turn back the time.
Feeling very miserable now.. All those memories just flashed back non-stop now in my mind..
From the very first till now, from the past till now, i've changed alot alot..
Even Bestie told me so.. I dont know what makes me changes so much till this extend,
Im also lost myself too. I think im no longer the girl that i know. What I used t hate so much in the past,
Im actually doing so now. Seriously, people can change alot.. To even the person i hate myself t be.
I can't explain all this messy feelings inside my heart. Just pain and nothing else already.
I really wished t use that old method again, that useless method t release this type of pain and stress.

I wanna change new phoneee~ Thinking of getting back N95. Fuck :(

When you found out everything, you got devastated and lost.. But what can you do?

You still have to close two eyes and pretend that nothing had happened..

When all those words you believed that it was from the bottom of heart, turns out..

Turns out t be all nothing but pack of lies, how would the feeling be..

Always being treated like a fool t be played around with, you don't know when is real or fake.

You have t always guess and brain storm for all those true or false promises..

What am I supposed t do now? Or how should i deal w all these problems.

I dont like t beat around the brush, but sometimes, things can't be like what i want it to be.

You still have t think about the other party's feeling when you're too straight forward.

wtf world is this, seriously, what had i actually done t deserve all these shitz.

How i wished i can actually forget all these, all those people i know or even knew.

Starting afresh might not be good, but at least, i know it will be better then now...

Yes, im blogging at lan shop now. for that stupid fucking reason, the keyboard. lol.
Nway, went swimming today and plus having super no mood for everything. :(
Thennnn head t panjang after reaching home not long upon recieving Alister's message.
So bus-ed down all the way alone myself horz! then still walked t BPP myself lorz. :(
Then met up w the usual(s) and had some talk(s). And Ong came over..
Met up w jie after that and now super super low mood, seriously dont know why.
nb, dont feel like blogging already. byeeee~

Imissyou..

When i had t let go of you, let go of our memories.. That's the part i can't do so myself.

When I realised all these while are just lies and nothing else..
It breaks my heart, but all those pain, i can only keep it and nothing else..
I really do wonder who am i to you? Perhaps it's just another passerby that is passing by..
I've t be that strong infront of you and everybody.
I've t be that noble t share w everyone.. And also, pretend that everything was real when it wasn't.

That very unexplainable pain inside w those broken pieces of heart(s).

Currently at Alister's house... blog becos i wanted t play w his keyboard.. :)

Wahahah... stayed over at LAL's house.. and meet up w alister becos i dont wanna travel

till panjang here alone.. Waiting for the rest t arrive :)
I wanna type more but im running out of words soon.. but he's keyboard got the tiak sound lah.

Nway, im looking forward t school reopen jiu dui le lorz. :)

Sometimes, you can't predict what's gonna happen.
Im afraid that what im holding now can't last long. Im afriad that history will repeat.

Very afraid that things will repeat like the past. But, im willing t take the risk this time.

And i hope it's worth it.

One kind of student after taking drugs. LOL

Seh seh liaoz. lol.

MY 'baobei' starting fire. LOL.

Nice not?~ :D

After idk how long since i can see such long reciept. =x

Nezha~ He's also " racists ". he saw 3 indians walked passed, he laughed and said " blackblack" LOL.

So Thurs, we went sheng song t buy those BBQ stuffs and head t Yurong's house t put ..
And left me alister, linjing and marcus.. pei linjing go eat and yongsheng came over awhile..
He left after awhile and head t play pool.. And left the 4 of us, we went playground :)
Chatted alot and LinJing wanted t go batok t pass his friend's some stufss plus me going t
LimahLim de houseee, soooooo, we bus-ed t batok :) After passing, we sat down and chatted again.
Then they walked me t LAL's house downstairs. Thanks t them alottt :D
Then pei LAL and his mom watched ghost show ley~ Plus one is dk ren rou mien ah. idk ah.
Damn omgg~ lol. seriously. Then head t mac for supper and back home t slack.. :)
Woke up around 3 plus and realised LAL already awake ley. So surprising. :x
Then he pei me go JP t make cake but nevertheless, while we're on bus,
Alister called and said no need cake already. Piang, super seh lorz. Then we walked around JP
before heading back t tua. Then MRT t lakeside cos Linjing got car :D
LAL pei me buy card but the queue and process was fucking wtf..
Then he take bus home and i head t bbq. :) SORRY t make LJ and M t wait so long for me. =x
Then Wahahaha, super fun at tua lorz. :) Dint sleep while the rest already KO.
Left me alister and marcus. :) We had lots of chat(s) plus ghost stories ley~ :D
Plus feeding me and alister's blood t those mosquitoes, but we dk why marcus dint get any. nb horz!
After awhile me and alister buey tong already. I went t get the car key from boy..
Me and alister went t car and nap awhile while marcus was at playing psp.. Ha.
hahaha, then went for yewkeng in the morning at tanglin halt. saw mingxiong and some friends :)
yewkeng was super fun w nezha lorz. :) Then at night ban gong. powerpack ley! LOL.
Tianpei came. Super duper miss her alot like seriously :D
Ended early and homed early. Then pack and bath and head t drink w the usuals :)

Then nothing more t eleborate already. Going out soon, byeee~ :D

with stupid lim ah lim at JP. :) Thanks alot t him toooo. :) Y'should know why :D

JARON LOW RONN RONNN~

SHENG RI HAPPY~ :D

May your 17 be the best one.

Though you always fall asleep while talking on the phone~ lol.
Just want t tell you that, dont always look on the dark side..
There's always the brighter side waiting for youuu.. :D

Y'know, chor lor is always here for ronron, just a phone call away right? :)

Radio can mute or even on t the loudest volume de horz~ :D

Though i just know you not long, but you're a nice friend, really.

Though wo dou mei you meet you at all. LOL~

But still that sentence~

DONT SAD DONT SAD~ CHOR LOR IS HERE~ :D

eheh, dedication for JARON LOW ONLY. :D

I miss my ah Ong! haahah! - memories -

Memories, i miss those super crazy days w my love(s). Seriously..

Nway, wont be blogging till sunday. Wont be home from tomo alreadyyy :)
Will bring pictures home and bloggg~ :D :D BBQ BBQ BBQ. Yay-ness ~

Tomo going buy BBQ stuffs liaoz lo~ Super happyyyy~ :D EXCITEDDD~

But also feeling v disappointed today too. I dont know how t say also.. wtf is all these..

Playing candles w my DD tomo. Hopefully tomo will be better..

HAPPY BIRDDAY TO EUNICE SOH ~

Finally aunty 16 liaoz ehhh~ HAHA! Can legally go clubbing liaoz right? :) YESSS~
Promisedddd you that will go club w you once you're 16 right~ HAHA! FINALLY~
Thanks for always be the one there when im down down downnnn ~
With all those craps w you and see you laughing like one crazy makes me LOL~
And also always not replying your messages.. sorry~ Hope you have your sweetest 16!! :D

Went pub yesterday and realised that everything had changed. Be it place, situation or people..

I dont know why, I can't control the tears again yesterday.. Im loss for words now.. bye.

super boring day! Home all day. nothing more.

I think of alot today.. really alot which made me feels like a idiot myself.
But nevertheless, i've got those ah siao(s) there t make me laugh like crazy as usual. :)
Felt that the heart today was way too heavy for me t carry today.. Seriously..
But what am I supposed t do? Trust that him or you?

LOL. How fake can a person get until? Now i finally realised.
It takes me so hard t trust you back again, yet, i thought a brand new you was a better one.
But all was nothing else but lies again. And at that moment, all the trust were gone.
I find ways t trust you again, i find all ways t believe you've changed. But i was just STUPID.
The 2nd that made me lost trust again. Why is it so easy t break the trust away?

I guess you had another direction and leaving me with nothing but a dead connection.

Feeling not very alright.. But yet I can't express out those pain in me but cry.
When I heard what she've said, i was overjoyed. But what's the use?
Though you're the one that mentioned bout me first. Still remembering my name..
But when I heard that sentenced that very moment, I was happy, but w pain in my smile.
Why is it so that whenever im giving up, you appeared and made me fall.
I always set a firm decision, but when you appear, all was messed up and myself too.
I really missed those old times of us.. But when i think of that very moment you walked away..
The first time we met each other..
The first time we talked t each other..
The first time we chatted on msn..
The first time we chatted on the phone.. And you ____ ______.
The first time we go out together..
The first time we watch movie together..
The first time you held my hands/ and told me you're not letting go..
The first time you hug me and kissed me..
And..

The last time we could talk t each other happily and smile happily at each other..
The last time you gave me a hug and kiss before you go away..
The last time we chat on msn for very very long hours..
The last time we chat on phone before we sleep..
The last time you held my hands and told me you're letting me go..
The last smile you gave me before everything comes t an end...
& The first and last time you only heard me crying..

You made my life changed totally since then. The life and way im having or living now..
Totally changes from the time you knew me.. When me and you changes from know t knew..
I dont wanna live my life this way, but this is the only way t run away from this problems..
The only way t keep you out of my mind.. I seriously miss those times together...
The love i gave, i swear it was really strong, but it wasen't enough t make you stay..
I dont know, So in a dilemma.. What's worst was those pain that have been w me.. Increase..
The love is deep, but meaningless..

When you realised the person you trusted most all along is the person you can't trust the most.
How would you feel? I seriously don't know who is true, who ain't anymore...

I thought i can finally rest after last week. But here comes another week again. nnb.

Yet again, I've got another funeral t attend. Life's really fragile, so fragile...

My favouritesssss~ :)

Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul.

I hated putting you in suspense,
But I lost ability to speak,
My heart had stopped altogether,
A tear rolled down my cheek.

Memories were just so wonderful, i can't help but t think of all those times again..
When a girl really changed, no matter what else, nothing can change her back..
A girl can be soft hearted, but when you push her t a limit..
Nothing else can change her back t the old girl that you once knew and admire.
Just like when someone falls, she learnt her lesson. And from then, everything will change.
She'll not be the same and let herself fall again. She will change and not get hurt again, herself.
And how true is, when someone recieved a great impact in her life, it will change the person, totally.
But at the same time, all those smile(s), those happiness and everything will be gone.
What's left was those hurtful moments and those fake smile(s) that are covering up the tears.
Just t make sure nobody knows that tears are actually coming out from her eyes.
And nobody knows at that time, what's behind the smile was those scars but not real smile from the heart...

trademark face. ' copyright ' hhah~

I actually forgotten that yesterday was mooncake festival lorz.

Till at night went t find nowell then i realised. And this year, i dint celebrate at all.

Sad t say even so, i would be alone again too. Whatever it is, all was over.

I looked up at the moon and so many memories flashed back in my mind.

Was wondering whether are you looking at the moon like how i did?
Or even think of the past, when we can celebrate together. Those wonderful times..

Though is very short. But it melts my heart...

Labels: nightmares are here again..

I love you yet I hate you. Its like I want to throw you off a cliff and then run really fast to the bottom and catch you.

So many thoughts running through my mind right now.. Thinking of how I've gave up on _____.
There are moments that mark my life.
Moments when I realise nothing will ever be the same again.
I wonder if I should give myself that one more chance t believe again..
I dont know why I lost trust in L-O-V-E. For becos of lies and so on.. I know i've put in real feelings.
I know those good times wont be back again or repeat becos i wished so...
Though i wished that i've forgot everything of all these but also wished t remember all..
Why does it seems so much easier t give up than t hang on for me now? I dont know..
Everything changed over a night, which made me hard t accept or adapt t all those changes..
I wish t go back, but I dont know what's pulling me that stopped me..
But i know i've not been really happy for very long time already ...

My " hubby " leyyy~ hahahha.

My " sister " hahahah~

Our Zong Bu :) I super love playing w his face! haahah~

Ah ley lu ya *christian* VS kip kip lu lo leng *taoist*~ LOL.

Mummy :) Our boon shu. :)

HA. as pictures speaks a thousand words. :) I enjoyed really hell lots despite being that fking tired for not having enough rest. Not only me, but all of us. Upload only abit of pictures only cos im lasy, sooo, go t my facebook for more picturessss of Tai Yin Dian~ :D

Have fun w the * ah ley lu ya and kipkip lu lo leng. *

I said wrongly and said * ding ding loti dong * and all laughed at me. then we start t joke w this .

Super fun and laughed like idiot. And also some ~~sex~~ stuffs. =x hahhahha~

And after just now we went cementry, back t tua and put lantern :D

Had lots of fun w all of that. :D Needa go tua tomo again, t pack and so... Sibei shag~

So just reached home not long ago. Met MM today w his mom. :) Met up for breakfast.

Miss my hua lian mao alot lorz. His haircut super NOT NICE like seriously.

Super fking tired noww. Shall go and bathe and KO t my bed.

It's that fucking cold already. Cos im not lying on it for 1 whole week. ~

hahaha, goodnight people :D

Last but not the least ~~~

敕-封-太-陰-殿 HUAT AH~

Anddd~

Byeeee~ Can't see ahboy's lantern on his hand. :)